Soccer Player Yellow-Carded for Farting

In the most important flatulence ruling since "whoever smelt it, dealt it," a U.K. soccer player was carded for passing gas over the weekend.

International Manchester were awarded a penalty kick against Chorlton Villa in a Manchester Publicity Sunday League game, but as the player prepared to take the free shot, the blast from the referee's whistle was rapidly followed by an entirely different kind of toot -- distracting the striker enough to miss the goal.

The referee adjudged that the fart was deliberate and showed a yellow card to the alleged perpetrator before ordering the kick to be retaken.

After the game, Chorlton's manager defended the ruling, saying, "My gut feeling is that someone made the noise with his mouth."

As opposed to his mouth-feeling being that someone made the noise with his gut, we suppose.