Male Sychronized Swimmer Can't Splash Through Glass Ceiling

In the spirit of Title IX and Billie Jean King's defeat of Bobby Riggs in 1973, another battle in the war for sporting gender equality rages on in the swimming pools of Germany.

Seventeen-year-old Niklas Stoepel is a youth champion in the traditionally segregated sport of synchronized swimming, but is now barred from competing at an international level, effectively crushing his Olympic dreams.

Oh, we know the arguments against young Niklas's dream. No man can ever paddle slowly around in circles with his legs in the air as gracefully as a woman. All the media coverage will focus on how he looks in his sparkly Speedos, making a mockery of the sport.

But we say fight on, Niklas! They won't be laughing when you show the world that we men are just as skilled at underwater-dance-gymnastics-swimming-performance-art as women!