How much is a slap on the backside worth? Well, if the backside belongs to a Las Vegas "beverage manager," and the hand belongs to ex-NBA crazy man Dennis Rodman, the price would be $225,000.

Or so says a federal judge, who awarded the sum to Sara Robinson, after Robinson claimed Rodman humiliated her in front of co-workers and guests.

One wonders how much Rodman would be forced to pay if he copped a feel in a place that didn't have a motto suggesting the ramifications of such behavior would never leave its confines.

Worst Public Excuses

    "That's not for me to decide ... I'm here to say in some ways I wish I went to college and had an opportunity to grow up at my own pace. "
    --Baseball player Alex Rodriguez when asked if his performance-enhancing-drug use constituted cheating.

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    "I have severe acid reflux, and the day of "Saturday Night Live" I completely lost my voice.'
    --Ashley Simpson on why she lip synced on "SNL."

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    "Bitch set me up."
    --Washington, D.C., mayor Marion Barry after getting caught smoking crack in a hotel room with his former girlfriend.

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    "I was doing research for a role in 'Shopgirl.'"
    --Actress Winona Ryder after being apprehended for shoplifting. Claire Danes got the part in "Shopgirl."

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    "I smoked pot, but I didn't inhale."
    --Bill Clinton when asked if he'd tried marijuana.

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    "It wasn't just a hurricane, it was a hurricane followed by a flood."
    --Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff responding to why the federal government was unprepared in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.

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    "A drink mixture of sarsaparilla and ginseng."
    --Sprinter Ben Johnson's response when asked if he had taken anything before his first-place finish in the 100m at the 1988 Summer Olympics. He later tested positive for steroids.

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    "When the President does it, that means it is not illegal."
    --Richard Nixon

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    "Nude massage."
    --Married Sen. Chuck Robb's response when asked why he was in a hotel room with former Miss Virginia Tai Collins.

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    "I have really bad menstrual cramps."
    --Nicole Richie, after being pulled over and found to have Vicodin in her system.

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Slo Mo Fish Slap
The most excruciating of all animal slaps. (Gorilla Mask)
Dad Slaps Around His Kid At School
Wait for the twist at the end for the payoff. (I-Am-Bored)