Save for a small (perhaps statistically insignificant) percentage of the straight-male population, there's a lot guys can learn from the ladies about how we shouldn't dress. In our flyest polyester blazer and with a fresh new pair of clogs on, we strutted over to the offices of the ladies from What Not to Wear
Ginormous messenger bags: Fine if you're an actual bike messenger, but not cool if you are going to a show, sporting event or any other kind of place where your big bag is going to get in everybody's way. It's okay to leave your sketchpad/small dog/science project at home.
-- Julie Gerstein,
target="_blank">Lemondrop.com
Getty Images
Lady Jeans: We like the skinny-jeans look, but that doesn't mean we want to see you wearing our jeans. Get your own damn pair.
-- Julie Gerstein,
target="_blank">Lemondrop.com
Getty Images
Polyester anything: Polyester suits are good one day of the year: Halloween, when you're dressing as a character from "Saturday Night Fever." Otherwise, we want nothing to do with them. Same goes for your "wacky" butterfly collar vintage shirt. The thought of rubbing up against so much synthetic fabric makes our skin crawl.
-- Julie Gerstein,
target="_blank">Lemondrop.com
Getty Images
Ed Hardy-style man shirts: Is your name Ed Hardy? Then why do you want his name all over your chest in garish faux tattoo prints? These shirts scream "tool."
-- Julie Gerstein,
target="_blank">Lemondrop.com
Getty Images
Sweatpants, in public: We appreciate the need for comfort. However, there are limits. Are jeans somehow too constrictive?
-- Julie Gerstein,
target="_blank">Lemondrop.com
Getty Images
Sandals with socks: if you don't have the balls to wear your sandals sock-free you should just put some tennis shoes on.
-- Julie Gerstein,
target="_blank">Lemondrop.com
Getty Images
The Super-Deep V: Popularized by American Apparel, the super-deep-V shirt isn't so much bad as it is confusing. Are you gay or just really metrosexual? Either way, if you're sporting a heavy patch of chest hair, you should just pass.
-- Julie Gerstein,
target="_blank">Lemondrop.com
Getty Images
Crocs: Yes, Chef Mario Batali wears these. Does that make it acceptable? No.
-- Julie Gerstein,
target="_blank">Lemondrop.com
Getty Images
Jorts: The Holy Grail of offensive man wear. Hemmed denim jean shorts should never be worn. No exceptions.
-- Julie Gerstein,
target="_blank">Lemondrop.com
Getty Images
Novelty ties: If you are dressing up enough to put a tie on, whatever you're doing is probably too serious to be wearing a novelty tie. Unless you work at a TGIFriday's.
-- Julie Gerstein,
target="_blank">Lemondrop.com
Getty Images
Comments:
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Friday 01 May
By ME
I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE POLYESTER
LOOK AT PRADA ...POLLY IS SEXY GIMMIE A HOT GUY IN A SANSABELT POLY SLACK ... YUMMY
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Friday 01 May
By al schroeder
I agree with everything you said. Two questions: 1)Would any guy carry a shoulder bag like in that 1st pic? and 2) Who the hell is Ed hardy?
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Friday 01 May
By Kat
Flip flops! They are for girls. Sandals are ok on men at the beach, I suppose. They usually just look silly. Most of the "good" shorts in the story are BAD! Shorts with a shirt and tie only works on poatal workers, toll collectors, and frat boys at parties. Wide lapels were always a poor choice. I like the classic '1940s look and the rudeboy look.
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Friday 01 May
By abruni
I don't get the anti-jorts movement. Jorts are "bad," but in the "good shorts" submission, we have Tim Roth...wearing a pair of denim shorts. So denim is ok, as long as it's not blue color. But then we have Kanye...wearing blue shorts. Um, ok.
Now, there are plenty of images of jean shorts that are too short, too long, too tight, etc., but that sounds more like bad style, not the fact that they're denim. Besides, if I walk around any college campus, am I not going to see jorts being worn and looking acceptable? So is it just an age restriction?
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Saturday 02 May
By Dale
What the fuck are/is jorts???? Those things that guy was wearing were by NO means shorts!! If it goes past your knees, the best they can be is FLOOD PANTS!!!! Shorts are to be worn ABOVE the knees!!!! And that thing he had on looked more like a long denim skirt to me that a pair of "pants". If you're GONNA wear pants like that, why not just wear a skirt and have done with it??!! There are surely poor people running around naked all day because they can't find the material to make a pair of pants because it's so trendy and cool nowadays to wear pants that are 10 sizes too fucking big!!!! However, I NEVER see girls wearing pants like this...unless they're trying to look like guys.
Wednesday 06 May
By tessa backstreet
you asshole! if women can wear purses, skinny jeans, v-neck shirts, sandals and skirts, then men can, too. and you know what, they'd look a hell of a lot better than you! or most women for that matter. oh yeah, and why is it okay for a woman to go out in public in sweatpants on a 'fat day'? guys have 'fat days' too, you idiot!
what the fuck gives you the right to tell a man how to dress? by the way all the things mentioned above are what i'd rather see men wear! don't you know not all women are weirdos that want to see a guy drowning in fabric looking like he's got no figure! if fact, most girls i know prefer them to show off their hot bodies in something short, tight or revealing.
if a man wearing a suit walked past me, i wouldn't second-glance. i don't like suits on men. never have. they don't do the male body justice. most boys are built better than girls, and you're probably fat anyway! so you have no right to say anything!
ms. gerstein, you disgust me! you are one sick son of a bitch!
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Friday 01 May
By Chris
Tessa, While you have a right to your opinion, The way you presented it made you seem immature and quite possibly someone who would settle for a pizza delivery boy and call him your hero. Cussing only causes people to read your comment and shake their heads sadly without ever giving what you wrote any thought. Also, the anger that is clear in your comment makes me believe your man must dress like this and by the way, most adult women I know would laugh at a man who dressed like that and never consider befriending him let alone dating him so no most women do not prefer that style of dress. A tailored well made suit is hot and most of the 'dont's' listed in the article are just gay.
Saturday 02 May
By Dale
Right on, Tessa!!!! Most of the stuff they said was bad, I had no problem with; most of the "good" stuff was awful!! I've been wearing skirts for nearly 25 years now and most of my fans (I'm a drummer) not only love it, they DEMAND it!!
By the way, Ms Gerstein's not a son of a bitch, she's a daughter of a bitch. (-;
Friday 01 May
By Warren OLleary
Dear Authoress;
Your blatant anti-male sexism is loud and clear; go put on feminine clothes and stop your cross-dressing/transvestite fetish. Men should have more freedom in male gender clothes then cross-dressing females. Tight jeans are male clothing , obviously you like double standards against males since women perfected transvestism for themselves; would you tolerant the reverse of males can be transvestites and be called normal while male fashion authors imply or state that now alot of dresses, skirts, blouses and footwear, like pumps, now are off limits to females or they will be called bull dykes or butch ?
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Tuesday 12 May
By Pat
I agree 100%, feminism is getting out-of-fucking-hand. You'll complain about guys wearing tight pants, why? Don't you wear tighter things? guys wearing sweat pants outside, why? Aren't about 95% of women too lazy to not go outside for the day in their pajama pants? a guy wearing an Ed-Hardy shirt with his name on it, WHY? girls wear ed hardy things, they wear gap things, they wear a million and one things with "J. Lo" on it, are they her? no? i didn't think so. Complain about a V-Neck?! Oh, so it's ok for women to wear them down to their belly buttons to show off all of their cleavage and then some, but guys can't get a nice breeze when it's 90 degrees outside. This person's supposed to be in the know? Just sounds like a complete feminist supremest that most feminists have become today. It's not a fight for "equality" anymore, it's about nope, now that I'm the same, it's not good enough, I fought long and hard to be the same, that makes me better than you.
Saturday 02 May
By Ollie Waskey
what a bunch of bullshit! you guys ack like God, telling people what to wear. I say "F" that. Aren't we supposed to be living in the world of tolerance, where we live and let live? Who gives a shit what you wear. Our society is so worried about money, maybe that is what motivates you people to even care how much money we spend on our clothes or perhaps not clothes at all? Get a life!
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Saturday 02 May
By Anya
The sarong and the girl pants are kinda creepy, but everything else is fine. Dress how you want. What's wrong with sweatpants? I like novelty ties, it makes the whole suit wearing thing so much less boring. YOU HAVE THE FREEDOM TO BE YOURSELF. Don't listen to what these things say.
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Saturday 02 May
By tessa backstreet
yes, chris, my man does dress like this and i think it's wonderful! and i know for a fact that thousands of women and men feel exactly the same.
we all think he is amazing. but i respect your
opinion and i'm glad you commented me. but still,
whenever i see a beautiful man in a suit i feel sad, like he doesn't think well enough of himself
to be empowered to want to show some skin.
also, is it gay for a woman to wear jeans, slacks
or suit pants instead of a skirt? no it isn't, so there's no reason in the world that the other way around should not only:
1. work
2. be equally as acceptable
it's only fair, and i myself don't wear skirts, and i'm proud to say i wouldn't want to.
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Sunday 03 May
By Tessa is a Dyke
Well, these thousands of women you speak of? all fresh from a sex change opperation.
You get too excited over this, men are men, women are women. for thousands of years women have been subservient to men, when a woman dresses in jeans or slacks, its because the times have changed, women are now equal to men, they are given more professional responsibilities, like haveing jobs. not just waitressing, ect.
Men have no reason(other than being mentally messed up from an abusive childhood) to dress like women, wearing tight clothing, short-shorts, it makes me think of pedofiles.
you see Tessa, Men are supposed to be stronger, the provider, the protector, women are the nuturer, the care-giver, we raise children. i know in this day and age things have gone flip-flop sometimes but a line has to be drawn somewhere.
tell you what Tessa, when men can give birth, then they can wear skirts without anyone thinking they are gay.
Saturday 02 May
By Rich
Real men wear whatever thay want to wear without consulting some fashion expert. No cowboy ever asked "do these spurs match my six guns?"
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Saturday 02 May
By Ron
There's a million things in the world that actually need people's care and consideration, dress codes are very low on that list. It's just part of the media/sheep mentality. Keep the small minds on small things so they never get around to thinking about the important things. Pay my bills and I'll think about caring about your opinion.
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Saturday 02 May
By neurolux
I don't wear any of these things except the messenger bag, and now you've made me self-conscious. What am I supposed to put my unread magazines, planning calendar, iPod, and notebook in? My pockets aren't big enough. Is a backpack better? Should I get a briefcase? Grocery bag?
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Sunday 03 May
By Yomomma
Well uh, jeans usually are too constricting in guys. We have a few inches of youknowwhat between our legs, so if anything, sweat pants are perfect! Mens jeans aren't flexible at all, and no guy likes having too much hard fabric choking his privates. I suppose your vagina makes it bit hard to understand this. Wear a hot dog in your underwear with two golf balls to see how your jeans fit you.
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Sunday 10 May
By tessa backstreet
Tessa is a Dyke? that's so funny i laughed because YOUR WRONG! ha. yeah last time i checked i didn't like women. and i never would because this planet is f*cked up. it's funny you should say, "women wear slacks because they are now equal to men!" well, then that's essentially saying they are the same, no? contradict yourself much? it's sick that women now have more rights than men, because of male feminists like you! maybe you stick up for women because you want to be one! i'm a woman who sticks up for what's right and unfair treatment to anyone based on how they look or dress just isn't right. however, i usually take the man's side, i won't lie, because most women treat men damn awful and you know it! maybe your girlfriend physically abuses you? and you like it?
maybe in your world things are like this, but my world works a little different. men would have babies in a perfect world, (and in my world it's already been done.)and they'd make a damn better mother than most females. i will NEVER have a child, unless my husband would have it for me, because, quite frankly, pregnant women, or even the thought of them, disgust me! my father raised me,as far as i am concerned, he gave birth to me, too.. but whatever.
also, don't you think school teachers like mary kay letourno, or what ever the hell her name was are pedophiles, too. yeah, of course they are, wearing those nasty-ass skirts that mentally messed up little BOYS like to look at.more women rape underage school boys than the other way around, and even criminals rape little boys more often cause they don't want girls. i don't why?, just stating the facts.
sometimes i wonder what god was smoking when he created this planet. he got it all backwards in my eyes. many people disagree with me, and very few agree and i'm the first to admit it, but you must know that not everyone feels the way you. and some wouldn't want to! i'm only 5'3 and small but i know for a fact that i'm physically stonger than most men. any women can be, i've been trained, and you don't have to have huge ugly muscules to do so. i don't have muscules:i think they are ugly on both men and women!
anyway, in conclusion, may i say Dale,you sound like an awesome guy, and i don't doubt the fact that fans request, or demand you, i sure as hell would! i commened you for staying true to yourself, it isn't always easy, go dale!
and Tessa is a Dyke, you wish tessa was a dyke cause you sound like a gay woman trapped inside a man's body, and your information is old and outdated, just so you know. there is nothing wrong with being gay, but i'm not as i only like MEN. and real men wear pink, no kidding, but they wear what they like with pride and don't care what anybodys else thinks, and neither do i.
hahaha, i don't wear dresses/skirts so i
guess i'm a cross dresser to you. but it doesn't matter to me. you are what you eat and i happen to love make-up and probably wear more than the average woman, so if i sound messed up, you, well,you just sound kind of ignorant.
have nice day.
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Thursday 07 May
By paul
I find this comment humorous "guys can learn from the ladies about how we shouldn't dress". I see many fat pigs wearing tight clothes with their rolls of blubber on display. So I wouldn't say that women are the best judge of fashion.
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