The Kentucky Colonels is a social society that originated back in 1813. When the Kentucky Militia returned from the War of 1812, the governor kept some of the soldiers on staff as Colonels. The group grew and later incorporated civilians, and then the parties got truly crazy.

Now the Colonels are known for having a busy social calendar and consuming mint juleps as if they were iced tea. Celebrities from Elvis Presley to Muhammad Ali, Norman Schwarzkopf and Pope John Paul II have joined. During Kentucky Derby week, they own the grounds, throwing big money at horses from their own private VIP area. Check our 10 tips for partying like a Kentucky Colonel. Try a few of these and you may make your life a little bit richer.

1. Pronounce Louisville "Lawlville"
Three syllables is entirely too many for one city name. Pronouncing all of them takes away from other things you need to do with your mouth: drinking, smoking, eating, screaming at horses and Yankees, and general revelry. Now just it's two syllables, pronounced "lawl" like "y'all."

2. Smoke a cigar
Smoking, even outside in breezy areas, is often met with repulsion from bystanders. However, in Colonel circles, the fatter and more odoriferous your cigar, the sexier and more desirable you are to the opposite sex ... and, at times, the same sex. That's why southern estates have large closets.

Learn how crazy hats, bourbon and a unisex approach to pastels can make your life a richer experience, after the jump.

Kentucky Derby

    Jennifer Baisden of Columbus, Ohio, shows off her fancy hat at the 135th Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs Saturday, May 2, 2009, in Louisville, Ky. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel)

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    Julie Wathen of Sellrsberg, Ind., wears a fancy hat at the 135th Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs Saturday, May 2, 2009, in Louisville, Ky. (AP Photo/Patti Longmire)

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    Patty Ethington of Shelbyville, Ky., smiles with her fancy hat at the 135th Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs Saturday, May 2, 2009, in Louisville, Ky. (AP Photo/Patti Longmire)

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    A vendor sells mint juleps at the 135th Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs Saturday, May 2, 2009, in Louisville, Ky. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel)

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    Derreck Judt, of Blair, Neb., and Dave Hume, right, of Moline, Ill., compare horse hats in the infield at the 135th Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs Saturday, May 2, 2009, in Louisville, Ky. (AP Photo/Rob Carr)

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    Ellen Cawley of Wooster, Mass., wears a fancy hat at the 135th Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs Saturday, May 2, 2009, in Louisville, Ky. (AP Photo/David J. Phillip)

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    Natalie Palzrmic, of Chicago, wears a fancy hat at the 135th Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs Saturday, May 2, 2009, in Louisville, Ky. (AP Photo/David J. Phillip)

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    Lacie Minchew of Baton Rouge, La., wears a fancy hat at the 135th Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs Saturday, May 2, 2009, in Louisville, Ky. (AP Photo/Darron Cummings)

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    A vendor holds a tray of mint juleps, the traditional drink of the Kentucky Derby, at Churchill Downs in Louisville, Kentucky, May 2, 2009. REUTERS/John Sommers (UNITED STATES ANIMALS SPORT HORSE RACING)

    Reuters

    Donavan Barnett of Warwick, RI, wears a spires hat in the paddock before the 135th Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs Saturday, May 2, 2009, in Louisville, Ky. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel)

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3. Wear elaborate hats
While Northerners and Hollywood Gomorrahans wear cheap trucker hats, Colonels know that all things, even if it's just your hat, should be overdone. If a hat adorns your head, it should be as creative as a William Faulkner novel, even if the material of choice is a Bud Light box.

4. Drink mint juleps
While mojitos have beamed into every bar across the nation, its rambunctious Confederate cousin is a better drink. A mint julep contains all that a true gentleman of taste needs. The mint and water refresh on a hot Kentucky day, while the sugar giddies the brain like a child on a Pixie-Stix bender. The bourbon choke-holds your self-control and public insecurities, the things that keep you from having a truly majestic good time.

5. Wear a suit
Searing heat and rampant humidity are no reasons to dress like a commoner. Dress in your best white linen suit, they're not just for Miami Vice. Cool yourself by wiping your brow with a handkerchief and exclaiming, "Lawwwwwd, if it ain't just the devil's crockpot outside."

6. Remember: No colors are reserved solely for the fairer sex
Pastels, pinks, mauves, baby blue and salmon are fair game for men who enjoy mantastic things like pheasant hunting and horse riding.

7. Seersucker is sucking awesome
The thin, all-cotton striped fabric is marvelous for spring and summer events like barbecues and catching 20-lb. catfish. While the seersucker jacket originated in the British colonies, the South has taken it for its own -- like the smoking pipe.

8. Buy a western string tie
Known to the uninitiated as the KFC tie for its connection to Colonel Sanders, this little number really classes up a suit. A cross between a bow tie and a bolo tie, there is no doubt this will help you stand out in a room crowded with boring, uni-dangle ties.

9. Show off medals
The Kentucky Colonels are no longer connected to the military and have no real use for medals, like most civilians. However, medals are badass. They make you look distinguished -- a distinguished badass, who is gentlemanly enough to put his coat over a puddle for a lady and will defend her honor with fisticuffs if need be. There is no reason the military should have all the medal fun to themselves.

10. Touch young ladies
You're not a dirty old man if you smile a lot, oil on the Southern charm, and keep your wit rated PG. She'll melt at your friendly-grandpa routine and will have no problem with you constantly touching her through the conversation and picture-posing.