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As we approach Mother's Day, it's important to note that a mother's selfless love for her children is a trait that cuts through all cultures and every historical period. If more fathers were as committed to their children as the typical mother, the world would probably be a better place, although nobody would ever be allowed to play football.

That being said, 2009, a year in which motherhood has so far been defined by the "Octomom," has not been the best for the female parent.

After the jump, we present the candidates for the Worst Mother of 2009 ... so far.

Hooker locks son in the bathroom during business hours
Prostitution is tough job for a mom, but Catherine Thomas of Bucks County, Penn., figured out a way to juggle being a parent and being a hooker by locking her 7-year-old son in the motel room bathroom while she turned tricks. An undercover cop put an end to this arrangement, and the child -- as well as three family dogs -- was taken away.

Mom shoplifts parenting book while accompanied by children
On the one hand, 37-year-old Callie Rough is an awful mother for shoplifting a book right in front of her two children. On the other hand the book was titled (no joke) "101 Ways to Be a Great Mom," so at least Callie accepts that there is room for improvement.

Moms turn sleepover into sex orgy
While it is true that Lynn Long didn't have sexual contact with any of her ninth-grade son's sleepover guests, the same cannot be said of Long's 38-year old friend and fellow mom Angela Honeycutt, whom Long had asked to help "chaperone" the party. In fact, a drunken Honeycutt got down with two of the teenagers in the shower, as a drunken Long listened to the moaning from outside the bathroom. Long received two years probation, and Honeycutt got eight to 17 months behind bars.

Mom arrested for breast-feeding while intoxicated
In January, Connecticut mother Allanah Early was arrested for breast-feeding her 3-week-old smack in the middle of a seven-drink binge at a local watering hole. (Although that's nothing compared to 2007 Worst Mom of the Year Wendy Cook, who was busted for snorting lines of cocaine off the stomach of her 2-month-old son while breast-feeding.)

Dina Lohan tries again
Not content with having only one drug-addled train-wreck daughter, Dina Lohan has been pimping out her other one, Ali, by making the 15-year-old the centerpiece of the family reality show. Oh, and also having her pose in a bikini for tabloid photographers. Finally, a mother even Lynn Spears can look down on.

Barren mom drugs daughter to get her pregnant
Woe is 32-year-old Shana Brown, who is unable to have any more children. To remedy this injustice she twice drugged her 13-year-old daughter in hopes that Shana's 40-year-old boyfriend would be able impregnate the girl in her woozy state. Both times the seventh-grader remained conscious enough to fight off the attack, and both adults now face various charges of attempted rape and child endangerment.

Mom kicks kids out of the car
Madlyn Primoff, 45, made good on her "I'll stop this car right now" threat when her two daughters wouldn't quit their bickering. Then she surprised the tweens by tossing them from her car and demanding they walk home three miles. While the 12-year-old was able to run down Primoff as she drove away, her 10-year old wasn't so lucky. A Good Samaritan found the girl wondering aimlessly in a neighboring business district.