In the annals of creation, we really only have complete and total respect for two artists. (Well, three, if you count Hall and Oates as separate entities.) One of them is definitely Vincent van Gogh. Sure, he painted real good, but we mostly love him because every crazy thing we do to win back our exes (petnapping, fake suicide attempts, gift bags of screwdrivers and rocks) seems to pale in comparison to his infamous romantic gesture. Reader and today's Noble Prize Winner Al Schrader disagrees. Why? Because he is a better painter than Vincent van Gogh, whose technique was, like, all wrong.

"Vincent didn't realize that you need to back-up your canvas with a smooth board. If you don't, it is nearly impossible to get anything except an impressionistic looking thing & definitely not something that will sell (mine sell). He cut his own ear. Vincent was a hot-head."

Thanks, Al! If only Tom Stuart's Art Instruction School had existed in 1889, we wouldn't have to be eye-raped on a daily basis by our arty cubicle-mate's totally un-photorealistic realistic "Starry Night" mouse pad.

Click here to learn how your comments can win you a sweet narwhal T-shirt.