2 Comments
Food Network magazine has named a battered, cheese-stuffed, deep-fried patty the ultimate burger in Maryland. By "ultimate," we can only assume they mean "the last meal you will eat before instantly dying of major artery failure."

The 8-ounce monstrosity, appropriately named the Heart Attack on a Plate, sells for $11 at Mother's Federal Hill Grille in Baltimore. The magazine picked 50 burgers, one from each state, for its June/July issue, listing California's In-N-Out Burger and Virginia's Ray's Hell Burger (favored by Obama!) in addition to the coronary-inducing burger.

Rather than being closed down immediately by health services, Mother's reports an increase in Heart Attack sales since the article was published, with one customer ordering extra bacon on his and another eating two at a single sitting.

We win again, America. We win again.

Click here to check out more extremely fatty meals, after the jump.

Deadliest Dishes

    Deep Fried Coke:The better to wash down your deep-fried cheeseburger. This confection is made from Coke syrup combined with funnel cake batter which is then deep-fried. Add more syrup, plus whipped cream and a cherry. This won a state fair prize in Texas.

    Cambelina, Flickr

    Chicken-Fried Bacon: A smaller, crunchier, more compact way to a bigger heart attack, from that foreign country-within-a-country: Texas. Don't forget the cream gravy.

    Yi, Flickr

    Hot Beef Sundae: Nothing like a nice refreshing bowl of mashed potatoes topped with gravy "chocolate sauce" topped with beef, a cherry tomato and cheese "sprinkles." I don't know that this state-fair combo is deadly, per se, but it seems like the opposite of what you need on a hot day in the sun.

    muffinresearch, Flickr

    Turducken: Before it enters this jumble state, a turducken is a series of meats stuffed inside each other: stuffing/dressing, duck, chicken and turkey. Why so much restraint? We'd jam the rest of Thanksgiving in there: cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, candied yams, pumpkin pie.

    mr t in dc, Flickr

    Southern Smothered Hash Browns Fully Loaded: This breakfast-franchise version of a hearty classic includes, underneath a heavy blanket of white gravy: four biscuit halves, hash browns, red peppers, onions, jalapenos and three sausage patties all topped with cheddar cheese. Breakfast of sluggards.

    Grande, Flickr

    Deep Fried Cheeseburger: I don't know where you might find this curious item, other than in the bellies of fearless carnivores. This is an entire cheeseburger battered and fried, not merely the patties. Might as well go all the way to the grave!

    chotda, Flickr

    Fried Cookie Dough: Since the name of the game on this list seems to be upping the unhealthiness ante via the addition of other junk foods, why not just pair this one with ice cream? Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, of course. Don't forget to throw on some chocolate syrup and whipped cream.

    Hyperbolation, Flickr

    The Hamdog: What we have here is a hot dog wrapped in a beef patty and deep-fried, and it can be topped with chili, grilled onions and a fried egg. It can also involve bacon, as all insane meals seem to do.

    Tanya Hyde, Flickr

    This Monstrosity: Good God. Looking at this one, can there possibly be a god? Find out when you eat this stack of artery-clog.

    Alexik, Flickr

    Any Sandwich from Rutgers University's Grease Trucks: A post-party destination specializing in sandwiches so greasy and over-the-top that only those with the strongest hearts will survive. Have a Fat Cat, Fat Bitch or a Fat Fella, which sports cheese steak, chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, bacon, french fries, lettuce, tomato, mayo and ketchup.

    Uichan, Flickr