The closest thing we've ever known to love is what we feel for a cardboard standee of Bridget Fonda that we found in a Regal Cinemas dumpster a couple months after "Singles" came out. So we were a little befuddled by a 40-year-long study by a psychiatrist that suggested that love is the key to happiness. Thankfully, reader Cecil Jones was on hand to break it down for us. He takes today's Noble Prize for explaining that the difference between lust and love is stamina.

"How many of these 'Harvard Grads' were in lust instead of love? We lust for money, companionship ... but are they unconditional? At your ugliest moment, when you are the most vulnerable or guilty, can someone love you? This is the key to happiness. You know you have been judged at your worst and you are still worthy."

Lust doesn't last? Phew. It's good to know that the shameful sexual feelings we get when we watch that White Castle commercial for pulled-pork sliders will be mercifully fleeting.

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