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The soft-core-porn empire of Hugh Hefner is being quietly offered for sale, according to The New York Post. Although Playboy never quite adjusted to the wild world of Internet, Hef is demanding $300 million -- 200 million more than the company's capitalization.

So far no one has bitten, which isn't surprising, since it's not exactly a seller's market for media companies. If and when the price gets a lot more reasonable, here are some outlets we could see snagging the venerable old bunny ears.

College Humor. Parent company IAC may not be in the world's greatest shape, but Playboy was the original college humor. And we would all like to start seeing some nipple on the Cute College Girl of the Day.

Gawker Media. It would raise the profile of their often-clicked but rarely commented-on porn site, Fleshbot, and give the ladies over at Jezebel an endless supply of air-brushing debates.

Click to read more suggestions for who should buy Playboy.

The Smoking Gun. What's hotter than naked ladies? Naked criminals.

The New York Times. With all this talk of how to save the newspaper industry, it's a scandal nobody has mentioned the obvious: nudity.

Apple. Welcome to the iBone.

Derober. The name already sounds pornographic, plus that scroll-over technology could come in veeeery handy.

Facebook. Take that, Twitter.

Best Week Ever. Naked Playmates would make the title much more truthful.

AOL. They can put the Playboy offices right next to the Asylum offices.