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For his new Comedy Central series "Tosh.0," stand-up Daniel Tosh analyzed exactly what makes a successful Internet video. It was difficult work, but Tosh bested it, despite being on Salvia during much of the process. We caught up with the drug-addled comic in an attempt to get his keys to achieving viral video immortality.

Keep It Short
Tosh: "My first and foremost rule is f**king make it short! People think four minutes is short. If someone sends me a four minute video, I'll go crazy. I need 30 seconds. I need to look down at the time bar and say, 'Okay, I can do this.' There's nothing at the top of the video that can keep me interested if I see eight minutes on the time bar."

Click here to find out why Miss South Carolina is a genius and surreptitiously taping your roommate is comedy gold.

Make Sure Your Pain Is Genuine
"I don't want it to be fake. If there's even a hint that it's fake, then I'm angry too. If you're going to get hurt in your video, then I really want to know you got hurt for real. And fake throw-up? I'm not buying it. EatYourSoup.com (super NSFW) is solid. I believe it's real. It's great to send to people who are under the weather."

Miss South Carolina Is a Genius
"I'm totally a fan of her. My angle is that I've been there. I've been on stage where you freeze, and you've just got to keep talking, and it doesn't make sense. Yet what she did when that happened was so genius that people couldn't help but watch it over and over again. So I think she's a genius. Have you seen her stomach? You don't learn about geography in the gym."


The Grape Lady Fall Was Better Because She's a Lady
"This could easily be taken out of context, but ... Johnny Knoxville getting shot with a gun is exciting, but show me female version of that and I might laugh harder. By the way, for the record, there's no excuse for domestic violence. OK, there are probably are a few excuses, but this isn't the time nor the place to get into that."

Celebrity Rant Videos
"Some celebrity stuff is great. Christian Bale's rant was an instant classic. I liked Bill O'Reilly's 'We'll do it live!' until he fake-embraced it. He was like, 'I do worse than that every day.' We get it, you f**k."

Memes Are Surefire
"Once you mash up a cat jumping into a box with somebody butchering "The Star-Spangled Banner" while having a lion f**king its long-lost love, you're in good shape. I think that's a lock. Also, emotion careening with insanity is a guaranteed hit video."

Surreptitious Taping
"I appreciate scaring the s**t out of people. Pranks always work. If you're going to f**king butter a floor, I'll laugh (NSFW volume). Fishing line across a door entry also has its appeal."


Celebrity Sex Videos
"These always go viral, but I like the little extras. The night-vision green stuff is great. I'd like to see more with a camera strapped to their head. If they could get those X-Games helmet cams and shoot a sex tape with that, that would be solid and we'd have B-roll coverage."

The Future of Viral Video
"I don't think this Internet thing is going to catch on. It was so out-of-the-box for Comedy Central to take a chance with 'Tosh.0.' They sent me an e-mail with basically three lines that said, 'Hey, why don't you do a show about the Internet and viral videos?' I just figured, OK. Once the Internet is gone and this show is over, maybe they'll let me do a comedy show."

Want Daniel to consider your video for Tosh.0? Visit the show's Web page.

Looking for more expert advice? Check out some of our recent columns.
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