This just in from the AP: Out-of-Work bachelors have a tough time getting dates. Say wha? You mean the ladies aren't impressed when you tell them all of the time you have to lavish on them? Try this little trick. When it's her birthday, give her a homemade card you scribbled on the back of an old Big Mac wrapper and assure her "It's the thought that really counts. You're the most delicious thing I could think of, next to two all-beef patties."