Jun 11th 2009 By Jordan Newmark
For the first time ever, the UFC is going to hold their event in Germany. This Saturday UFC 99: The Comeback makes the former fronts of two world wars into the "Final Battleground" for our favorite UFC fighters.
The lineup for UFC 99 is stacked. The main event is former UFC Middleweight Champion Rich "Ace" Franklin versus former PRIDE Middleweight Champion Wanderlei "The Axe Murderer" Silva. Two of the most popular fighters in MMA history for a reason, Franklin and Silva have a combined 36 KO/TKO victories.
As Asylum's MMA correspondent, I invited my nephew and 5-year-old fight phenom, Lil' Calvin, to draw some pictures about this epic battle. This is Calvin's second Asylum offering, and once he tasted the sweet taste of Internet fame
the kindergartner couldn't wait to devour seconds. See Calvin's crayon and construction paper predictions, after the jump.
Rich Franklin vs. Wanderlei Silva:
Every time Calvin's speech impediment made him say "Wich Fwanklin" or "Wandeway" I would laugh myself to tears. Eventually he left me this picture. I guess he wants the "Axe Muwadewer" to win.
Cheick Kongo vs. Cain Velasquez:
Calvin said that after Cain dismantles Cheick, "All the white boys in Amewica who watch this cwap are gonna' ditch their 'TAPOUT' shirts and get a 'BROWN POWER' tattoo on their chests to make them feel badass like Cain.
Ben Saunders vs. Mike Swick:
Calvin was certain that Ben Saunders would win by a vicious and bloody knockout. He couldn't narrow down when/how it would transpire, but Calvin promised, "He'll be smiling like a fweak when it happens."
Dan Hardy vs. Marcus Davis:
Instead of fighting, Calvin thinks Dan Hardy will challenge Marcus Davis to a drinking contest to prove Marcus isn't truly Irish. His prediction is they both die of alcohol poisoning. Why does a 5-year-old know what alcohol poisoning is?
Spencer Fischer vs. Caol Uno:
Calvin began to explain why he thinks Caol Uno will mark his UFC return with a victory, but a cell phone rang in Calvin's pocket which he frustratingly ignored. I asked Calvin why a boy in kindergarten needed a cell phone and he responded, "The Internet made me famous. You know the deal -- mo' money, mo' pwoblems." I then told him I didn't know the "deal" and bitterly left the room.
Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic vs. Mostapha Al Turk:
Calvin pontificated if this were the PRIDE Cro Cop, "He'd kill that idiot." But who knows what the UFC Cro Cop will do. Then he went on to bellow, "I'm pwaying he'll win. I'm pwaying my little 5-year-old heart out that he'll win. I want him to win so badly!" Then he began to blubber and cry and cry. I had to assure his parents that it was the Croatian who did it and not me.
Denis Stojnic vs. Stefan Struve:
When this fight was mentioned, Calvin angrily grumbled, "Oh yeah, the UFC never does fweak fights" and then made the jerking-off motion.Click on the links below for more with MMA's elite fighters.
Faber vs. Brown for Cage Fighter of the Week
An Ode to the Knockout With Quinton "Rampage" Jackson
Hot Fighting Ladies Who Can Kick Your AssBJ Penn Talks About Winning Belts and Licking BloodRich Franklin -- Former Math Teacher, Current Badass