Ah, Hooters. That innocent netherland between the blatant perversion of a strip club and the bland innocence of a boobless meal. It may not be the coolest place in the world, but it's definitely our favorite place to check out girls in shiny orange shorts. We asked K.H., the blogger behind "The Hooters Girl" for the top 10 things you should never say if you hope to hook up with a one of the hose-wearing hotties who slings your wings.
10. "Can I have your number?"
Do you have any idea how many times a Hooters Girl is asked this question within a single shift? You're going to have to try a little bit harder than that!
9. "Is that your real name?"
What kind of a question is that? This isn't a strip club! Is "Megan" really that outlandish of a name?
8. "You're gorgeous! You should be a model!"
First of all, I'm docking you points for using that line. I recall my grandmother telling me about the boys who used that one on her. It was tired even then! Second, your Hooters Girl knows that she's hot; she is made aware of this fact dozens of times a day. Lastly, nine times out of 10, she actually has done a bit of modeling. Nice try.
Find out the top seven things you should never say to a Hooters girl after the jump.
7. "If a woman with large breasts works at Hooters, then where does a woman with one leg work? IHOP!"
Cue forced laughter and feigned amusement. Do you realize that I am told this joke at least once a week? And that it is entirely unfunny?
6. "Do you have a boyfriend? He must hate that you work here!"
Yes, I do, and no, he doesn't. You see, I have chosen to be with a man who does not suffer from the crippling insecurities that you do, nor does he possess the frighteningly high levels of jealousy and rage that you have.
5. "Do you guys do lap dances?"
Again, not a strip club. There is no pole. There are no G-strings. If you're lucky, we might dance to "YMCA" with the numerous children running around.
4. "I love a girl in pantyhose."
I love a guy who won't share his most perverse fetishes with a complete stranger.
3. "I'll take a 10-piece wing, hot, breaded, with blue cheese, an order of curly fries, and a side of you!"
Ah, yes! Nothing like comparing a woman to fried food and implying that she can be purchased, while simultaneously making an unoriginal and played-out joke that she has already heard three times that day!
2. "Are those real?"
Are you an idiot? Why on Earth would you ask any woman this? It simply guarantees that you will never be given the opportunity find out!
1. "Would you sell your used pantyhose/socks to me?"
Lovely. Just lovely. Security!
More Essential Tips for Things You Should Never Say
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Porn Star
10 Things You Should Never Say to Twins
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Tall Woman
10 Things You Should Never Say to an Asian Woman
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Black Woman
From the Web:
The Good and the Bad of Being a Hooters GirlIs the camel-toe inducing shorts a good or a bad thing? (Lemondrop)
Hot Girls From FacebookYou're welcome, America. (The Chive)
Girl Makes a Funny FaceHow long does it take you to notice? (College Humor)
Comments:
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Wednesday 17 June
By Trey
You should also never tell them it your girlfriends birthday when she is in the bathroom when you some how convince her to go there to watch the game with the guys. You may realize your girlfriend is a little "whoreish" to say the least.
Reply
Thursday 25 June
By glennblackwell
Your girlfriend is a whore for having lunch with you, having a birthday and going to the ladies room?
NOTE TO TREYS GIRLFRIEND:
Happy Birthday. Your boyfriend is a moron.
But you know that already.
Wednesday 17 June
By Joshua Maxey
I agree with the top 10 things to never say to a Hooters girl, but I think we need to remain a little realistic. You work at a HOOTERS for Christ's sake! What portion of the male population are you expecting to show up at a place like HOOTERS? This place isn't exactly synonymous with class.
If you're trying to seem somewhat respectable I'm sure you can shoot for some place like, oh I don't know, the library. Otherwise, you work at HOOTERS. Deal with it.
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Friday 26 June
By sparkleflyer2004
I work at a library, and we have a dress code, yet despite our best efforts we are a free public service and get people even worse than I have seen at Hooters. (Yes I have been to a hooters.) So dont play like the class of your work place helps to dictate what kind of people come in, because it doesn't. There are mean, nasty, perverted assholes everywhere, just like there are pleasant, nice, respectable people everywhere.
Saturday 27 June
By Kathleen
Please, I have actually had a man stare at me and start rubbing his crotch while in a library! I was not an employee, but still, that was very classy, no?
Thursday 09 July
By Kelly
I totally agree.
Friday 10 July
By James
Agreed. Why would you get angered at base, kitschy behavior when you work at a base, kitschy restaurant. You're being paid because you'll let yourself be objectified by men, not to engage in serious conversation. Deal with it.
And to Sparkle and Kathleen, nobody doubts that you attract perverts but that doesn't have any bearing logically on the original statement.. which is "expect to get wet if you jump in a lake."
Saturday 01 August
By soffe
I also agree (with the top 10 things to never say to a Hooters girl, but I think we need to remain a little realistic. You work at a HOOTERS for Christ's sake! What portion of the male population are you expecting to show up at a place like HOOTERS? This place isn't exactly synonymous with class.)
My boyfriend always said that it was a family restaurant--so I went there..my answer to him was--if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck--ita a @%*@ DUCK--the girls were flaunting them selves(boobs in the guys face-or butt in the face--or boobs hangin out or butt hangin out--anything for a good tip..I think they have a space on their applications to check for FAKE BOOBS ---REQUIRED!! 9 out of 10 had them..and give me a break on -they only work there while going to college LMAO on that one folks--guess the investment in the fake boobs pays for their college!!
Saturday 22 August
By liz
i like how none of these comments come from someone who has actually worked at hooters.
you are absolutely right by saying that the business does attract sketchy guys who say nasty things. We completely EXPECT it to happen. But the article was specificaly saying 10 things not to say to a hooters girl if u wanna score a date with her! DUH
Btw, i worked at hooters when i was 18. I had never been there before and thought it was a skanky place. I applied there as a joke, but when i got the job i decided to try it out. I LOVED IT. believe it or not most of my customers were young families. And i was asked for my number all the time, buti never heard the majority of the "top 10"! And i have never put my goods in someones face. I made a TON of money just standing there.
Dont be so quick to judge! especially since youve probably never been there.
AND btw, I AM in college. Im applying to med schools right now =)! so im obviously not an idiot!
so if youre going to bash a hooters girl, do it because shes a skank, not because she works at hooters. not all of them are like that.
Thursday 18 June
By Jason
My sister-in-law did a little stint at hooters. When she first got on there, she had all these pics on her myspace of her in her hooters uniform, etc etc. (She's a bit of a whore), after a couple months there, she quit because "she didnt want to be treated like a piece of meat". She's obviously not too bright either.
Reply
Thursday 18 June
By SpeedyD
Josh hit this right on the money. It's like being a stripper and getting pissed when a guy says "I wanna hit that" as your naked body grinds him from top to bottom.
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Friday 19 June
By cojack
If you don't want to be treated like an object, don't take a job where you r purpose is to be eye candy.
Reply
Saturday 20 June
By Heavytoka
Agreed
Monday 22 June
By RP
This list is somewhat inaccurate. I have a few friends who work there and they were told by their boss to use Fake Name Tags when certain events would happen in town. So that asking the real name thing may not be that crazy to ask. Stupid to ask, but not crazy.
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Monday 22 June
By Daniel
Josh is right, it's a good list if you ignore the fact that Hooter's girls are there to be objectified. I don't go there because of the wings, ladies....
Reply
Wednesday 24 June
By James
I think the point is that it is not impossible to get their numbers or take them home, the article is CLEARLY JUST SAYING ---TRY SOMETHING ORIGINAL!
OKIE!
Reply
Wednesday 24 June
By James
What the article is clearly saying is that it is not impossible to take them home or get their numbers, just give a bit of effort and use something original, or at least dont use the lamest thing ever to say to an obviously ridiculous woman who welcome your advances.
ye~
Reply
Thursday 25 June
By S.S.Daniel
Very good site as I have discovered but I'am a newcomer and I have to go along and see how things are.
Anyway I'am hoping for the best.
Reply
Monday 29 June
By Matchstick
Keep in mind the intro says "things you should never say if you hope to hook up with a one of the hose-wearing hotties who slings your wings."
Guys joke around at strip clubs and casinos and places like Hooters, saying innapropriate stuff, and most know that they aren't going to get anywhere with the women there. Ultimately, guys know that having male-oriented fun is what they're paying for, because "there is no sex in the champagne room!" In my experience, most women in these jobs understand it and get into the spirit of fun so long as it doesn't get physical or emotionally uncomfortable...
That being said, sometimes a guy DOES hookup with one of these women, and if that's your intention, it only makes sense to start out treating her as a potential girlfriend, not a sex worker.
Reply
Friday 26 June
By ddub
10 Things women should say to Men.
10. My ex-boyfriend...
09. Have you been drinking?
08. Let's get sushi.
07. What are you thinking?
06. I don't have your money cause my john stood me up.
05. I don't do it in the butt.
04. I don't give head.
03. Dinner's not ready.
02. I don't fuck on first dates.
01. Can we talk?
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