Jun 17th 2009 By Emily McCombs
Ah, Hooters. That innocent netherland between the blatant perversion of a strip club and the bland innocence of a boobless meal. It may not be the coolest place in the world
, but it's definitely our favorite place to check out girls in shiny orange shorts.
We asked K.H., the blogger behind "The Hooters Girl
" for the top 10 things you should never say if you hope to hook up with a one of the hose-wearing hotties who slings your wings.
10. "Can I have your number?"
Do you have any idea how many times a Hooters Girl is asked this question within a single shift? You're going to have to try a little bit harder than that!
9. "Is that your real name?"
What kind of a question is that? This isn't a strip club! Is "Megan" really that outlandish of a name?
8. "You're gorgeous! You should be a model!"
First of all, I'm docking you points for using that line. I recall my grandmother telling me about the boys who used that one on her. It was tired even then! Second, your Hooters Girl knows that she's hot; she is made aware of this fact dozens of times a day. Lastly, nine times out of 10, she actually has done a bit of modeling. Nice try.
Find out the top seven things you should never say to a Hooters girl after the jump.
7. "If a woman with large breasts works at Hooters, then where does a woman with one leg work? IHOP!"
Cue forced laughter and feigned amusement. Do you realize that I am told this joke at least once a week? And that it is entirely unfunny?
6. "Do you have a boyfriend? He must hate that you work here!"
Yes, I do, and no, he doesn't. You see, I have chosen to be with a man who does not suffer from the crippling insecurities that you do, nor does he possess the frighteningly high levels of jealousy and rage that you have.
5. "Do you guys do lap dances?"
Again, not a strip club. There is no pole. There are no G-strings. If you're lucky, we might dance to "YMCA" with the numerous children running around.
4. "I love a girl in pantyhose."
I love a guy who won't share his most perverse fetishes with a complete stranger.
3. "I'll take a 10-piece wing, hot, breaded, with blue cheese, an order of curly fries, and a side of you!"
Ah, yes! Nothing like comparing a woman to fried food and implying that she can be purchased, while simultaneously making an unoriginal and played-out joke that she has already heard three times that day!
2. "Are those real?"
Are you an idiot? Why on Earth would you ask any woman this? It simply guarantees that you will never be given the opportunity find out!
1. "Would you sell your used pantyhose/socks to me?"
Lovely. Just lovely. Security!More Essential Tips for Things You Should Never Say10 Things You Should Never Say to a Porn Star10 Things You Should Never Say to Twins10 Things You Should Never Say to a Tall Woman10 Things You Should Never Say to an Asian Woman10 Things You Should Never Say to a Black Woman
From the Web:The Good and the Bad of Being a Hooters Girl
Is the camel-toe inducing shorts
a good or a bad thing? (Lemondrop)Hot Girls From FacebookYou're welcome, America
. (The Chive)Girl Makes a Funny Face
How long does it take you to notice
? (College Humor)