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Sometimes, the best gifts can't be handed across the table at Applebee's in front of a room full of casual diners. This is particularly true if the gifts are pornographic and/or illegal -- and the best ones usually are.

It's easy to forget that dads are boys too, and they like boobs and explosions just as much as you do. So this Sunday, give your dad something that you would never, ever give him in front of your mom. We've helpfully provided a list below with some help from Walyou, because the only thing worse than "Father's Day" (the movie) is forgetting to get your dad a present for Father's Day (the holiday).

15. Monty Python Killer Rabbit -- The Killer Rabbit from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" is the best killer animal ever seen in movies, which for devoted fans is a classic character. There are a few different products created as a tribute to this Killer Rabbit, including T-shirts, slippers, a stapler, and a plush toy.
14. Scotch -- Because women hate alcohol. Actually, this shouldn't upset your mom too much, unless you're Jake Busey.
From guns to skulls to Gardasil, see what else we have in store for Dad after the jump.


13. A Lapdance -- Because Mom thinks his Umbros are for pickup soccer games.

12. Cuban Cigars -- Because the best cigars are from Nicaragua now, anyway. Duh.

11. Terminator Skull DVD Player -- Besides being a cool Terminator collectible, this is a real DVD player to play your favorite movies. Since your mom would probably prefer it out of sight, it could be a perfect gift for a personal game room or Dad's office.
10. Cruising Beer Cooler -- A huge cooler to store all your beer, steaks and other necessities which is built on an electric scooter. Now you can load up all the ingredients for a good party and ride the cooler for the trip to paradise.
9. Spy Lighter -- This cool spy lighter is functional for fire and also includes a mini video camera and built-in microphone. Makes it much easier for Dad to spy on those who surround him ... especially if he's a smoker.


8. "The General's Daughter" -- Because it's his favorite movie, which embarrasses and confuses Mom.


7. Gun Meat Grinder -- A meat grinder shaped like a hand gun, which grinds beef to your preference with the pull of the trigger.
6. Funny Cigarettes -- Because Mom hates the freaking Allman Brothers.
5. Gardasil -- Because it's not yet approved for men or women over 25. But you just want Dad to be safe from cervical warts.
4. "Honcho" -- Because Dad trusted you with his horrible secret. Besides, if the woman hasn't put two and two together by now, then she likes her head in the sand right where it is.
3. Black Market African Gaboon Viper -- Because your mom is lazy and neglects to keep the house well-stocked with antivenom.


2. Atari Joydick -- You heard right, a modded Atari Joystick that is now called a Joydick. With this new controller, a gaming father can get higher and bigger scores by handling the Joydick better.


1. Anything You Go in Halfsies on With Your Secret Half Brother From Your Dad's Tour of Vietnam. Because Thuc never pays his full share, anyhow.





Need more? Check out 11 Bizarre Gadgets That You Don't Want Mom to See.