Whatever happened to the good old days, when old men would wantonly fire pellet guns loaded with rock salt into the air to keep kids off their property? 27-year-old Michael Buck instead uses the slapping, moaning soundtrack of hard-core pornography to frighten off the kiddies.

The Pennsylvania man filed a complaint with the police about children playing in his cul de sac, only to be told that there's really nothing wrong with children playing outdoors.

Getting no help from the police, he turned to his apparently amazing stereo system and blasted pornography to frighten the children away.

The symphony of grunts and fretless electric-bass riffs could be heard as far as a block and a half away, and now Buck faces several criminal charges. Next time, may we recommend something annoying but not obscene, like "The Macarena"?