Network: 
For a lot of guys, the gym seems like a natural place to scope out chicks. After all, you already know she takes care of her body, and the natural state of red-faced sweatiness makes it pretty easy to imagine her mid-coitus. But here's a rule of thumb: Don't try to mack when the object of your desire is in a T-shirt made see-through by her own sweat. Or spread-eagled on a thigh machine. Or grunting, however provocatively, because there's 150 lbs. lifted above her head. Or if you've got any of these stunners lined up as your opener.
10. What's a little thing like you doing with a big weight like that? I'm lifting it, see? I push here, the weight goes up right there, and that's called EX-ER-CISE
9. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? No, but go on ...
8. I hear yoga makes a girl really flexible. My favorite pose is downward-facing douchebag.
Click to read the top 7 things you should never say to a girl at the gym, after the jump.
7. I can bench 300 lbs. That's like two of you, right? Two-and-a-half, bitch. I just did Atkins.
6. Let's warm up together on the elliptical. No thanks, but I'll let you know next time I need to borrow a tampon.
5. You should really target your glutes more. Yes, because I need body advice from the man with no neck.
4. Nice legs. What time do they open? I was planning on doing some lunges right after this, actually.
3. I'd love to be a fly on the wall in the ladies locker room. Personally, I don't get off on the sight of untamed old-lady bush half-obscured by a midriff towel, but if frontal geriatric nudity is your thing, then more power to you.
2. I've got something that will really get your heart rate up. Is it in your pants? Because if it's in your pants, the only thing that's coming up is my lunch.
1. Do you mind if I squeeze in between your sets? Oh, Captain Innuendo. If only I knew the wit my $150 enrollment fee bought me ...
More Essential Tips for Things You Should Never Say
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Hooters Girl
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Porn Star
10 Things You Should Never Say to Twins
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Tall Woman
10 Things You Should Never Say to an Asian Woman
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Black Woman
Comments:
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Friday 26 June
By Heavytoka
Very Funny list, but nobody would honestly say any of these right? .....Right lol
Reply
Friday 26 June
By Mondo
The girls at my gym have a thorn in their side 95 percent of the time.
.. Hey you done with that machine.
... GET AWAY FROM ME SICKO.
.... Okay?
... You come here often?
.... Pffft eye roll.
.....Well this machine is broken and i want to know who to ask to fix it.,, but Pffft sounds good too.
Reply
Monday 29 June
By marquis
Jesus... what's up the writer's ass?
Reply
Friday 17 July
By Lainie
You made me giggle. =)
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By hawkpete
I was working with a trainer and the guy comes and talks to my TRAINER about how long he's been training me, etc. I am not really paying much attention, until all of a sudden my trainer says, in a very loud voice, "She's VERY HAPPILY MARRIED! NOW GET OUT OF HERE!" I don't know what he was saying, but thought that was an odd thing to do - talk to the trainer???
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By John
these sound like lesbian comebacks....
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By Saria
Uh . . . why? Because they're a good way to turn off pig-ish males who are so self-centered they feel they have the right to disturb a woman's exersice just to try and get some? Really? Because I don't think that makes them lesbian comments at all. Guys need to learn to piss off when women are working out. Seriously. Just because we don't want to be sexually harassed with rude comments like the ones above doesn't mean we're homosexual. God.
Saturday 01 August
By Leon
I was thinking,,,, when she is lifting that 150 lbs just make a fart sound behind her....... pppffffttt!
Reply
Wednesday 16 September
By ren
Oh that would be sooooo funny!!!! I want to see someone do that to one of these sorority-bitches
Saturday 01 August
By greg miller
This author is a sexist. This quality of writing is fit for National Lampoon or the college newspaper. The author is stereotyping and obviously a hack. Keep rehashing the lame, man-hate feminist drivel for the short-pay and it will get you nowhere.
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By Rhey
Listen buddy, this stuff actually happens all the time. Its nice to learn some good comebacks for men with no manners at the gym. What fantasy world are you living in? Its a fact.
Saturday 01 August
By Sportsman
Most women don't have time to talk. They're too busy looking around to see how many people are drooling over them....so they think.
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By Joshua
The AOL writers must have some spare time to spend at the gym and see what kind of pick up lines are being used. lol
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By MaryBeth
AOL writers spend most of their time writing sofball questions for their reporters to ask Obama.
Saturday 01 August
By Joshua
I agree with you MaryBeth. God forbid if they ask him a question that hits him and knocks him off his feet.
Saturday 01 August
By 08raider
This is pure idiocy. Women who read this will go to the gym thinking that anything a man says is merely an opening line. Does anyone realize that maybe guys just want to talk? Do you stop to think we're decent humans who are trying to be friendly? So, how do we do dare start a conversation if anything we say is perceived as a stupid, gonad driven, attempt at sex? Here's my thought, you all can kiss my hairy butt. If you have all the answers and own all the tact in the world, then YOU can start the conversation. I'll be over here with my buddies working out, getting in shape, and other productive things. And we'll be talking about who all read this insipid article....
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By Beth
Once some guy I would talk with occassionaly came over to me and said he would take me out for ice cream once I lost 10 lbs. We would talk about technique and dieting and etc. but I never told him I wanted to lose 10 lbs. Needless to say I never went out with him.
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By Shannon
Yeah, and if you WERE trying to lose ten pounds, why would you want to go out for ice cream once you reached your goal? What a moron.
Saturday 01 August
By belittlethem
I'm also sick of the stereotyping of men as insensitive louts. I've worked out at the same gym for ten years and I've had countless conversations with women both married and unmarried. I've dated two and it came about after not "hitting" on them, but intelligent and appropriate conversation. Sure, there are fools about, but it's time to stop getting your impressions of men from sitcoms and bromance movies. Most of us are decent human beings. Pretty lame comeback list IMO.
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By belittlethem
I'm also sick of the stereotyping of men as louts and the bashing of us. I've worked out at the same gym for ten years and I've had countless conversations with women married and unmarried. I've dated two and it came about after not "hitting" on them, but intelligent and appropriate conversation. Sure, there are fools about, but it's time to stop getting your impressions of men from sitcoms and bromance movies. Most of us are decent human beings.
Pretty lame comebacks and sophomoric writing IMO.
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