Jun 26th 2009 By Nicole Sia
For a lot of guys, the gym seems like a natural place to scope out chicks. After all, you already know she takes care of her body, and the natural state of red-faced sweatiness makes it pretty easy to imagine her mid-coitus.
But here's a rule of thumb: Don't try to mack when the object of your desire is in a T-shirt made see-through by her own sweat. Or spread-eagled on a thigh machine. Or grunting, however provocatively, because there's 150 lbs. lifted above her head. Or if you've got any of these stunners lined up as your opener. 10. What's a little thing like you doing with a big weight like that?
I'm lifting it, see? I push here, the weight goes up right there, and that's called EX-ER-CISE9. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
No, but go on ... 8. I hear yoga makes a girl really flexible.
My favorite pose is downward-facing douchebag.Click to read the top 7 things you should never say to a girl at the gym, after the jump.
7. I can bench 300 lbs. That's like two of you, right?
Two-and-a-half, bitch. I just did Atkins. 6. Let's warm up together on the elliptical.
No thanks, but I'll let you know next time I need to borrow a tampon. 5. You should really target your glutes more.
Yes, because I need body advice from the man with no neck. 4. Nice legs. What time do they open?
I was planning on doing some lunges right after this, actually. 3. I'd love to be a fly on the wall in the ladies locker room.
Personally, I don't get off on the sight of untamed old-lady bush half-obscured by a midriff towel, but if frontal geriatric nudity is your thing, then more power to you. 2. I've got something that will really get your heart rate up.
Is it in your pants? Because if it's in your pants, the only thing that's coming up is my lunch. 1. Do you mind if I squeeze in between your sets?
Oh, Captain Innuendo. If only I knew the wit my $150 enrollment fee bought me ...More Essential Tips for Things You Should Never Say10 Things You Should Never Say to a Hooters Girl10 Things You Should Never Say to a Porn Star10 Things You Should Never Say to Twins10 Things You Should Never Say to a Tall Woman10 Things You Should Never Say to an Asian Woman10 Things You Should Never Say to a Black Woman