For a lot of guys, the gym seems like a natural place to scope out chicks. After all, you already know she takes care of her body, and the natural state of red-faced sweatiness makes it pretty easy to imagine her mid-coitus. But here's a rule of thumb: Don't try to mack when the object of your desire is in a T-shirt made see-through by her own sweat. Or spread-eagled on a thigh machine. Or grunting, however provocatively, because there's 150 lbs. lifted above her head. Or if you've got any of these stunners lined up as your opener.
10. What's a little thing like you doing with a big weight like that? I'm lifting it, see? I push here, the weight goes up right there, and that's called EX-ER-CISE
9. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? No, but go on ...
8. I hear yoga makes a girl really flexible. My favorite pose is downward-facing douchebag.
Click to read the top 7 things you should never say to a girl at the gym, after the jump.
7. I can bench 300 lbs. That's like two of you, right? Two-and-a-half, bitch. I just did Atkins.
6. Let's warm up together on the elliptical. No thanks, but I'll let you know next time I need to borrow a tampon.
5. You should really target your glutes more. Yes, because I need body advice from the man with no neck.
4. Nice legs. What time do they open? I was planning on doing some lunges right after this, actually.
3. I'd love to be a fly on the wall in the ladies locker room. Personally, I don't get off on the sight of untamed old-lady bush half-obscured by a midriff towel, but if frontal geriatric nudity is your thing, then more power to you.
2. I've got something that will really get your heart rate up. Is it in your pants? Because if it's in your pants, the only thing that's coming up is my lunch.
1. Do you mind if I squeeze in between your sets? Oh, Captain Innuendo. If only I knew the wit my $150 enrollment fee bought me ...
More Essential Tips for Things You Should Never Say
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Hooters Girl
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Porn Star
10 Things You Should Never Say to Twins
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Tall Woman
10 Things You Should Never Say to an Asian Woman
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Black Woman
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Comments:
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Saturday 01 August
By benchpresser
All the reason for segregated gyms (by sex that is)
Saturday 01 August
By TJ
The more articles I read on aol, the fewer brain cells I have.
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By Bob
Actually, just be consistent with your work out schedule so that the ladies can find you. After 3 or 4 workouts, if you haven't had a hit, just troll someplace else.
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By Dave
Something tells me the writer would kill to have someone say one of these lines to her!!!
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By Sean
I'd like to meet the DB's that take this article so seriously....its a joke. And thats why single, and maybe creepy at a gym to boot.
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By TJWAG
It seems to me if a guy and a woman are in a gym they both have at least one thing in common which is more than one can say about most places people meet, no? So why is it wrong for a guy to say something (apart from stupid opening lines)?
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By SpiceMonkey
Were the responses supposed to be funny, or were they an example of being as pathetic as the original comment?
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By sevensamurai
Who would really say these lines? Maybe someone at an imaginary 70's disco gym!
The worst thing a guy said to me at the gym was when I was with my trainer and I was running on the treadmill; the fatass volunteer dance instructor walked by eating a piece of candy and he said "mmm, don't you wish you could have some?" My trainer looked at me and said "what a jerk." I started to open my mouth to say "I don't know who you think you're talking to but I can have whatever the f*** I want." but I decided to behave myself in front of my trainer.
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Saturday 01 August
By christine
You know what? I work at a gym. I get hit on all the time. I am never rude. I actually find it amusing and gutsy. As long as they don't comment on a specific body part what is the harm? Get real women....accept it as a compliment and smile. Say yes or no thank you and get it done. Its nice to see the same people at the gym, why make it uncomfortable by being a bitch? Men smile and wave to me all the time even though i've said NO just about to all of them...Get over yourselves ladies, say hi once in a while and get OVER YOURSELVES...maybe you will find a nice husband or companion this way as well....so I don't have to read articles about women crying there aren't enough men in the world. Keep it up guys...I appreciate a flirt, a smile or hello at the gym.
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By DAMIEN
THIS ARTICLE IS REDICULOUS. TREAT ALL PEOPLE WITH RESPECT, BOTH MALE AND FEMALE. HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE'S INTO MEN. SECOND HOW DO YOU KNOW THE GUY IS INTO WOMEN. DON'T BE A FOOL.
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By Eddie
I agree that most of those opening-lines are offensive, but I think that a lot of women are in the gym mostly to meet men and want to be approached. That's why the wear those skimpy outfits, make-up, etc. They get offended if guys don't approach.
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By jackmac
Just want to blow off some steam here. I've been going to gyms for nearly 40 years. I've noticed 2 types of people: those who go to work out and those who go to socialize and take up space. DO NOT SIT ON THE MACHINES BETWEEN SETS! Go to another station and work another muscle group, and don't stand around in the way yakking! Thanks.
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By jackmac
Just want to blow off some steam. I've been going to gyms for about 40 years and have noticed 2 types of people: those who work out and those who socialize and take up space. DO NOT SIT ON A MACHINE BETWEEN SETS! Go to another station and work another muscle group. And please don't stand around in the way yakking.
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By oldfashioned
you never say: "It smells like fish in this gym.)
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By Keriama
What a LAME SLEAZY WRITER!
Reply
Saturday 01 August
By whatever
Yes..some go to the gym to get in better shape BUT YA-ALL guys ARE looking- --they are checking out what they can...Its way better then those dating companies....Every guy I know, married or not checks out the girls at the gym..and if they have to get on here and read tips on how--then, they are a loser for sure..ITS THE BEST PLACE TO PICK UP SOMEONE!!!! If a guy makes friends with ya--80% of the time..they are hitting on YA!!if he's there more then most guy-its 100% --HE LOOKIN TO HIT ON YA!!! No guy hangs at a gym for 4hrs or more-
HINT:most married guy hang for along time....Every guy I have met was at the GYM!!! just watch out for the cheaters!!
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