Did you know Michael Jackson never really bought the Elephant Man's remains? But even in the mid-'80s, that tabloid accusation stuck because the King of Pop -- soon to be "Wacko Jacko" -- was already thought to be America's (and the world's) premier eccentric.

He bleached his skin and rhinoplastied his nose into non-existence. He had a chimp for a pet and a posse made up of 11-year-old boys. He dressed like a third-world military dictator and named his child "Blanket." And that's not even getting into the dark, uncomfortable stuff that he had to pay the family of a 13-year-old boy $22 million to make go away.

Now that Jackson is gone, there is a sad opening in the position of "America's Weirdest Man." And while none of them will ever be able to match MJ for pure, unadulterated peculiarity, we've listed the contenders to his crown of whack after the jump.

Tom Cruise
If the Scientology-driven couch-jumping routine wasn't enough, Cruise was able to one-up Michael Jackson's chimp purchase by buying "Dawson's Creek"'s female lead.
Gary Busey
He adds a level of menace to his metaphysical babble that's as unsettling as it is hard to turn away from.
Joaquin Phoenix
Sure it's probably a put-on, but anyone who is willing to transition from an Oscar-nominated actor to hillbilly-faced hip-hop wannabe might have more of the strange in store for us.
Phil Spector
Would be the favorite if he had beaten the charges, but it's unclear how much prison weirdness America can tolerate.
Do you have any different thoughts on who should be America's new weirdest man? Let us know.

(All photos from Getty.)