According to science, the logic behind having a traditional "wingman" is dubious. Because while there is no doubt your friend would like
to be a good bro and help get you laid, there are all sorts of evolutionary urges that have him wanting to scoop up all the most fertile ladies for himself.
But every once in awhile, a study like this one about how daily sex is good for fertility
comes across our desks and makes us think science is a pretty cool dude with our best interests at heart. So we decided to round up some of those sex studies whose conclusions seem designed to help you smooth-talk women -- be they your wife, girlfriend or the lovely lady you're about to meet -- into the sack. After the jump, seven scenarios in which you can use science as your wingman.
When your girlfriend thinks you're a keeper
So she thinks you're going to be together forever, and has stars and future children in her eyes. Well, she better be down with giving it up every night, because your good friend science states that daily sex increases the overall quality and fertility of sperm
.When she is looking blue
Sex, like all affectionate physical contact, elevates the level of the hormone oxytocin, which causes general happiness in both genders. But women get an added bonus from sexual activity, as a study has shown that exposure to semen will help quell depression
. And it's a good thing too, because the old "sperm is good for the skin" canard is not backed up any legitimate research. When she has bags under her eyes
Various studies have found sleep deprivation causes all sorts of problems, especially among 19-38-year-olds
. Fortunately, sex is a great way to promote better sleep habits, because a good old-fashioned screw will bring on the zzz's by releasing body- and mind-relaxing endorphins
. If you go this route, you should throw in a self-effacing joke about it not being habit forming.
When there is a bug going around
Researchers at the University of Wilkes-Barre have found that having sex a couple times a week increases your level of the antibody immunoglobulin
, which prevents colds and other infections. Sure that's not going to make up for the litany of potentially more serious diseases you could leave her with, but it's a start.
When it's that time of the month
If you don't mind going there, a study has suggested that sexual intercourse during menstruation helps prevent Endometriosis
, a painful condition which affects 10 million American women and sometimes leads to infertility. It is also believed that orgasms reduce menstrual cramps.
When she's at the gym
Yes, just like that StairMaster, sex with you can burn calories and be good for the heart
. But would you really approach a chick at the gym with that weak sauce? Instead, be original and tell her that sex triggers the release of phenethylamine
, a natural amphetamine which promotes weight loss by suppressing the appetite. And it would probably be best to do so delicately, and right after your own cardio workout, as studies have shown women most desire well-defined men
When your wife is pregnant, and you want some oral sex.
In a fortuitous twist, one of the keys to good prenatal health is ingesting as much of the father's, ahem, DNA as possible
. Reason being it heightens the pregnant woman's tolerance for the half-foreign object growing in her belly.
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