If gritty, fat-free muffins and burnt coffee leave you feeling a little too sober in the morning, now you can fantasize about Starbucks' plan to start selling beer and wine, potentially as a launchpad for a company-wide shift to the mid-day, downtown wino demographic.

Having no evidence to base this on, we're 100 percent convinced this will succeed like no business before it ever has, because if there's one thing the world needs more of, it's college students wearing scarves in mid-May tapping out their latest essay for Psych 101 while drinking a Pabst and eating biscotti.

Which begs the question: Now that every coffee house in America has been streamlined with a tiny table of delicious spicy condiments and a rack of easy-listening CDs, is Starbucks about to do the same to the local watering hole? We like comfortable chairs and fancy specialty drinks as much as the next heterosexual man, but will our Venti Pumpkin Spice Lager taste as good with the sweet soy milk of homogenization?