Grab your Green Lantern costume and leave the sunscreen at home, because the San Diego Comic Con is here! This year's fest features a veritable cornucopia of geek-friendly previews ("Iron Man 2"!) and plenty of stuff Hollywood just wants to plug shamelessly. (Who's ready for "The Cleveland Show"?!) While it all sounds fun, we wish the organizers would be a bit more honest with the schedule. Here's a Comic Con schedule we'd like to see:
2009 San Diego Comic Con International Schedule
"Heroes" Panel: Tim Kring Apologizes, Thursday, 6 p.m. The creator of "Heroes" apologizes for turning Sylar into a big whiny baby and pledges to go back to what made the show successful in the first place: ripping off old "X-Men" stories.
15 Seconds of "Avatar," Saturday, 8 p.m. James Cameron unspools the only completed footage of his epic sci-fi masterpiece, promptly melting everyone's face off like in "Raiders of the Lost Ark."
Michael Bay's "Lite-Brite," Friday, 8 p.m. The "Transformers" director ruins something else from your childhood by stomping on a Lite-Brite set for 20 minutes.
Ask the "Torchwood" cast a long and rambling question, Thursday, 4-6 p.m. Here's your chance to waste everybody's time by taking forever to get to your point and then not even really asking a question.
"Marvel Pirates" Preview, Saturday, 3 p.m. Shiver me timbers! It's all the buzz on Marvel's latest crossover event! You guys still like pirates, right? Right? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle 25th Anniversary Panel, Friday, 12 p.m. Creators Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird explain how they got filthy stinking rich off of something they sketched on a napkin while high on 'shrooms in 1984.
Mickey Rourke Crazy Hour, Friday, 8 p.m. We give the "Iron Man 2" star a mic and an hour and hope he doesn't burn down the place.
Dudes Playing Some Card Game in the Middle of the Convention Floor, All Weekend Seriously? You came all the way to San Diego for that? You can't do that at home?