Just because you're lusting after one of the chosen people doesn't mean she's gonna choose you back. Luckily, writer Shari Albert was kind enough to tell us what lines to avoid when wooing a sexy Semite. (And, no, Madonna doesn't count.)10. "Do you like your 'meat' cut, or uncut?"
Are you trying to be cute and ask us if we like our guys circumcised or not? Stop it. Besides, it doesn't really matter unless you're strictly kosher.
9. "Want to play 'hide the Afikomin'?"
The Afikomen is Matzoh, which is tasteless, fattening and constipating. It's best not to equate this with your penis.
8. "You don't look like you're Jewish."
What does a "Jewish girl" look like? Does she have horns, or a wig cut in an unflattering bob? Does she wear knee-length denim skirts and long sleeves in the summer time?
Read the top 7 things not to say to a Jewish girl after the jump.
7. "Is that your real nose?"
This will get you REAL far on a date. Try it!
6. "401(k)? What's that?"
Kidding ... no Jewish girl would ever date a guy who says this.
5. "Can I call you the 'other white meat'?"
I happen to love bacon, but perhaps not everyone would like to be referred to as a pork product.
4. "Why don't Jewish Girls like to give BJs?"
You know, my boyfriend is very grateful I never got the memo on this one. I'd love to find out who started this ugly rumor and why. My bet is it was a sexually frustrated goy boy.
3. "Isn't Passover, like, your Easter?"
Not even close.
2. "Do all Jewish girls have big boobs?"
Yes.
1. "Are you allowed to go out Friday nights?"
I don't know, can you turn out the lights for me as I shut the door so it hits your ass?
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Porn Star
10 Things You Should Never Say to an Asian Woman
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Comments:
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Monday 03 August
By Heavytoka
Hahaha Sending this to my wife now
Reply
Monday 03 August
By Alexandra_Covington
Disgusting. There are men & there are women.
Everyone is an individual. Jewish tradition should go the way of the dodo bird...Judaism IS a fossil, just as Arnold Toynbee said. Nicolas Negropointe, founder of the "one laptop per child" concept, said it best on Charlie Rose: "Nationalism is a kind of disease." ANY nationalism....especially one which, as in Judaism, is all tied up with religion. I'm NOT Jewish. I'm American. My cousins aren't "Jewish" -- they're Canadian. More than that....WE ARE ALL JUST H_U_M_A_N !!!!!!
Reply
Monday 03 August
By kckempf
I see nothing in this column to associate Judaism with nationalism -- Americans can come from any cultural/religious origin, and nobody should feel afraid of expressing their culture, or in this case showing people where their prejudices show through and can keep them from making a connection.
Thursday 06 August
By Ken
AC, Wow, thank you so much for being the guardian of ALL TRUTH and ALL KNOWLEDGE. Who died and made you God? (Hint... NO F&*%ing body) Well, the rest of us will live and know you are a dumbass, not because you don't believe in Judism but because you think you have all knowledge and can correctly determine all infomation's validity.
Tuesday 04 August
By Meg
It's comedy, lighten up!!
Reply
Saturday 22 August
By Nrthdude1
When will they ever stop whining? How do young men do it nowadays? God bless them for trying.
Reply