The Internet is getting pumped early for the First Annual National Single Cougars Convention, which is scheduled to take place in Palo Alto, Calif., at the end of this month. Everyone else seems to be excited about the "single cougars from all over America," but we're more into the invitation's statement that the Cougar Ball will feature "dancing to your favorite hits."
Just what exactly are a cougar's favorite hits, anyway? After the jump we imagine the DJ's playlist at the Cougar Convention.
"Maggie May" by Rod Stewart
A tale from Stewart's days as a lovelorn young man, eons before his current status as basically the oldest dude ever.
"Hot for Teacher" by Van Halen
A touching rock song about a young man's first older-lady crush.
"Mrs. Robinson" by Simon and Garfunkel
The consummate cougar song is so classic that the title has practically become synonymous with "sexually ravenous older lady."
"Little Dudes" by Pee Shy
We forgot this song ever existed, and we're creeped out we remembered.
"Maneater" by Hall and Oates
"The woman is wild, a she-cat tamed by the purr of a jaguar ... "
"Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne
If only all cougars looked like Rachel Hunter in the vid for this song.
"Your Love" by the Outfield
OK, it's really just that one line about liking your girls "a little bit older." We're not professional musicologists here.
Let us know what other songs would make a good addition to our cougar playlist in the comments.
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Comments:
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Wednesday 05 August
By Heavytoka
"Mrs. Robinson" of course
Reply
Wednesday 05 August
By dr. sausage
the trouble is a lot old, decrepid bags think they're cougars.
Wednesday 12 August
By Josh Ware
"Ready for love" by Bad Company
"Night Moves" by Bob Seger
"Evil Woman" by____________?
"Hey, Hey What Can I Do"? by Led Zeppelin these songs are just a couple off the top of my head. Thanks, I wish I could attend the Cougar Ball, I love Cougars.
Reply
Monday 30 November
By mikejhitchcock
Evil woman is by ELO
Sunday 16 August
By Di
"the trouble is a lot old, decrepid bags think they're cougars." ~dr. sausage~
As if men are any better lol. There are a helluva a lot of "decrepid" old guys who think they are hot and can score young chicks!! It isn't a one way street! btw the young chicks think a guy who is 40 is old!! lmao
Reply
Tuesday 22 September
By infinitesrd
Cougars are the hottest,stop spreading hate,who insults cougars.GET A LIFE and a girlfriend.... Dumb piece of shiii...
Sunday 06 December
By cph
"Desiree" by Neil Diamond
"It was the third of June
On that summer's day
When I became a man
At the hands of a girl
Almost twice my age "...
Reply
Friday 02 April
By Ash
I can't believe no one has said "Edge of Seventeen" by Stevie Nicks!! That is the ultimate cougar song!!
Reply
Tuesday 08 June
By fms
"Let's Paint This Town Tonight" by SideFX...from the cougar's perspective
Reply
Friday 27 May
By Rachel
Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls
"I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad,
But I knew life before I left my nursery,
Left alone with big fat Fanny,
She was such a naughty nanny!
Hey big woman you made a bad boy out of me!"
Reply