According to our friends at the Register U.K., Interorbital Systems is will launch your own satellite for $8,000. They're called TubeSats, and they measure a whopping 13.5 cm long by 8.7 cm wide. There's some assembly required -- in fact, they give you the kit and you have to build the satellite yourself.

Interorbital will launch up to 32 birds (two to the fourth power, of course) in a giant bulk satellite launcher. They'll go up to low Earth orbit, and then decay and reenter Earth's atmo in two weeks, unless they get blown to smithereens from all the other crap up there.

That gives you a very short window to reign down evil terror on the planet, but if you can't vanquish your enemies in just two weeks what kind of international badass are you? We'll tell you: a villain who uses PayPal.