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It's only Monday, and we've already got the Republican Party's "Batshizzle of the Week!"

Replacing "Birther Madness" in the top spot are sexiest former Governor Sarah Palin and sexiest former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, with their hit "The Obama Death Panel."

Palin posted an entry to her Facebook page fearing that her baby would have to stand before an "Obama 'Death Panel'," and on ABC's "This Week," Gingrich backed her up. This is an extension of the latest scare tactic to get people to believe that a public health insurance option leads to compulsory euthanasia.

While the term bears no relationship to the reality of the current health-care debate, we thought it was catchy as hell. After the jump, check out five Death Panels we'd like to see.

1. Death Panel: The Game Show

Think of it as "Extreme Jeopardy!" Three contestants enter, only one leaves. You could have fun naming categories, like "Rim Reaper" for basketball questions, and the final round could be called "The Final Round."

Drawback: How would you like your tombstone to read, "Did not phrase answer in the form of a question"?


2. Death Panel: The Rock Band (h/t Below the Beltway)

Admit it, "Death Panel" is a badass name for a rock band, and bureaucracy is a hook that hasn't been tried yet. The bodies of the guitars could be shaped like clipboards, and instead of crowd-surfing, they could throw forms at the crowd.

Drawback: Audiences might be put off by their unorthodox style, and use, of the organ.


3. Death Paneling

Do you have that all-too-common conflict between your emo persona and your appreciation for '70s decorating trends? Well, then Death Paneling is for you. Dress up your basement with these attractive, yet macabre, wall treatments, fire up the fondue pot and blast that My Chemical Romance album while you paint your toenails black.

Drawback: Your electricity bill will be hell from trying to keep it cold enough to stop the decomp.


4. Heat Your Home with Death Panels

Sure, solar panels are more popular now, but corpses give off all kinds of gasses and whatnot, and they really hold the heat of the sun well. If you pack 'em into those panels really tightly, there shouldn't be much bloating at all.

Drawback: Keeping up with the Joneses. Some jerk on your street will always get better panels that don't smell as bad.


5. Def Panel

This would be an actual Death Panel, as Palin and Gingrich envision, but they would cushion the blow of your impending demise by delivering the news in a freestyle rap battle.

Drawback: Government bureaucrats' beatboxing skills are notoriously weak.