With the onset of Obamamania, and the complete takeover of the U.S. Congress
by the Democrats, Fox News has been the beneficiary of an unprecedented economic stimulus
. With their signature mixture of death panels
, birther madness
and Nancy Pelosi death fantasies
, they are able to dominate basic cable ratings
, if not win elections.
Of course, Fox isn't the only business to get a shot in the arm from the surging Democrats, and there are sure to be more in the years ahead. After the jump, some other businesses that will see a Barack Boom
1. Future Beneficiary: Cold, Dead Hands Industry
Perhaps the earliest and longest-running beneficiary of President Obama's victory has been the gun industry. We don't think it will be long before some industrious entrepreneur begins fashioning holsters and gun cabinets out of spare digits from medical cadavers. 2. Future Beneficiaries: Gary Numan and the Scrap Metal Industry
The Obama administration has been very good to the auto industry, bailing out
Chrysler and GM, and spurring a car-buying frenzy with its "Cash for Clunkers
" program. With all of those cashed-in clunkers headed for the junkyard, look for new and interesting uses for all of that extra scrap metal.
New Wave sensation Gary Numan also stands to benefit, no matter which way this goes. His "Cars
" is ripe for a comeback, and if things don't improve, there's always his lesser-known hit, "Praying to the Aliens
."3. Future Beneficiary: The Newspaper Industry
Every once in a while, the President ventures out
among the great unwashed to sate his pangs for junk food and fellowship. These jaunts are invariably followed by a rush of customers
, eager to sample the Prez's fave vittles.
With beleaguered papers shutting down and cutting staff everywhere, all we need to do is get the President to have his picture taken at a different newspaper vending machine every day. 4. Future Beneficiary: The Dirty Sanchez
Since the last Republican protest movement made it OK to say "tea-bagging" on TV
, we're hoping they set their sights on a new euphemism next time.5. Future Beneficiary: Municipal Courts
Recently, anti-Obama cranks have been plastering public spaces with vaguely minstrel-y "Obama Joker"
posters that were created by a conservative radio host
. Now that police have started to catch up to some of the vandals, maybe the bicycle cops in your town can get some cool mag wheels.