With the onset of Obamamania, and the complete takeover of the U.S. Congress by the Democrats, Fox News has been the beneficiary of an unprecedented economic stimulus. With their signature mixture of death panels, birther madness and Nancy Pelosi death fantasies, they are able to dominate basic cable ratings, if not win elections.Of course, Fox isn't the only business to get a shot in the arm from the surging Democrats, and there are sure to be more in the years ahead. After the jump, some other businesses that will see a Barack Boom.
1. Future Beneficiary: Cold, Dead Hands Industry
Perhaps the earliest and longest-running beneficiary of President Obama's victory has been the gun industry. We don't think it will be long before some industrious entrepreneur begins fashioning holsters and gun cabinets out of spare digits from medical cadavers.
2. Future Beneficiaries: Gary Numan and the Scrap Metal Industry
The Obama administration has been very good to the auto industry, bailing out Chrysler and GM, and spurring a car-buying frenzy with its "Cash for Clunkers" program. With all of those cashed-in clunkers headed for the junkyard, look for new and interesting uses for all of that extra scrap metal.
New Wave sensation Gary Numan also stands to benefit, no matter which way this goes. His "Cars" is ripe for a comeback, and if things don't improve, there's always his lesser-known hit, "Praying to the Aliens."
3. Future Beneficiary: The Newspaper Industry
Every once in a while, the President ventures out among the great unwashed to sate his pangs for junk food and fellowship. These jaunts are invariably followed by a rush of customers, eager to sample the Prez's fave vittles.
With beleaguered papers shutting down and cutting staff everywhere, all we need to do is get the President to have his picture taken at a different newspaper vending machine every day.
4. Future Beneficiary: The Dirty Sanchez
Since the last Republican protest movement made it OK to say "tea-bagging" on TV, we're hoping they set their sights on a new euphemism next time.
5. Future Beneficiary: Municipal Courts
Recently, anti-Obama cranks have been plastering public spaces with vaguely minstrel-y "Obama Joker" posters that were created by a conservative radio host. Now that police have started to catch up to some of the vandals, maybe the bicycle cops in your town can get some cool mag wheels.


























Chili's Waitress Fired Over Facebook Post Insulting 'Stupid Cops'
Billboard Music Awards: Worst Dressed (or Most Daring?) From Past Red Carpets
Forbidden America: Cold War-Era Map Shows No-Go Zones For Soviet Tourists
HSBC Plans 14,000 More Job Cuts
Man Takes Dump In Background Of Instructional Workout Video
Tenants: Stench of Death Makes St. Louis Complex 'Unlivable'
Hands-on with the Samsung Galaxy S 4 running stock Android 4.2
Taylor Swift Q and A: What Does She Splurge on in Las Vegas?
Famous Roadside Attractions
Ricardo Cerezo, Facing Eviction, Finds $4.85 Million Lottery Ticket







Comments:
Add a comment
Tuesday 18 August
By Heavytoka
Ugh I cringe when I hear the words Fox News
Reply
Tuesday 18 August
By Richard Littrell
Me too! Thanks for saying that because I agree wholeheartedly. Fox News is right up there or DOWN there with the paparazi (sp?)!
Friday 04 September
By FactChecker
Have you actually ever listened to Fox News? Really, more than 30 seconds, or just sound bites that Keith and Chris blurt out. Fox actually speaks rationally, AND BACKS IT UP WITH THE FACTS. Most things are just a Wikapedia click away. If you give time to both sides, you might be suprised with what you learn.
Tuesday 18 August
By TimeZone4
MSNBC is where the creeps are these days. Have you checked those A-holes out????
Reply
Tuesday 18 August
By J. Brown
Just when in the history of either journalism or our democratic republic did it become the purview of a news outlet to "win elections"? The election of the incompetent, racist buffoon now living in the People's House came about for three reasons: 1)the illegal funding provided by a cabal of sinister one-world-order America-haters led by George Soros, 2) voter fraud on an unprecedented scale, and most importantly 3) the distortions, lies, coverups, and omissions of an agenda-driven, thoroughly compliant, thoroughly corrupt media.
And as to that "conservative radio host" who created the Obama as Joker poster . . . well, you might want to check this morning's headlines on the Drudgereport. Mr. Christopher, you're dumb enough to write for The New York Times.
Reply
Monday 24 August
By JIM
Fox news is the only honest reporting Americia has !
Reply
Thursday 08 October
By Ct Karen
The Proper Name is FIXED NEWS!!!!!!!
Reply