In more bad news for the living today, scientists have determined that humanity would almost certainly perish in the (probably still unlikely) event of a zombie outbreak.Using probability to demonstrate what us "Walking Dead" fans have known for years, a team in Canada has shown that a zombie-like infection -- one that quickly killed its victims and then returned them to life in order to feast on the living -- would spell almost certain doom for us all.
Among the issues faced by humanity would be the exponential increase in new zombies created after each human dies, and the sudden shutdown of vital services and resources.
The University of Ottawa researchers who worked on the study assumed that the zombies were the classic, slow-moving type seen in the original George A. Romero films, and not the heretical and far-more-deadly ultra-fast zombies as seen in films like "28 Days Later."
Even so, their analysis revealed that any attempt to cure or capture the Shuffling Horde would only put off the inevitable. All the more reason to lay back and submit to hot zombie babes.


























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Comments:
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Tuesday 18 August
By Heavytoka
Umm that's why you chop of their heads with your arm attachment chainsaw!
Reply
Friday 21 August
By outsidewavelength
Good thinkin Ash!Now here's one for the king!Gimmie some sugar baby!
Tuesday 01 September
By margaret
That comment made me laugh out loud... and made me decide to buy a chainsaw that will fit my arm. Thanks!
Wednesday 02 September
By SGT.CASEY
I think It would be the other way around, I'd be chasing some of zombies!
Friday 11 September
By rob
lmao, good one
Wednesday 19 August
By terry
the above poster apparently has not read the zombie survival guide. chain saws are too loud and would attract more zombies. you would need to use a machete, so the kill could be quick, AND silent.
Reply
Wednesday 02 September
By becky
that is such an awesome book! lol ive read it twice XD
Wednesday 02 September
By BaronofBadnes
Also, they run on fuel, which would be annoying to refill in the middle of zombie-fighting, and also cumbersome to move with.
Friday 21 August
By code636
Well, having read it and it's sequel, the reference to `28 Days Later ' is wrong....they weren't zombies at all, they were still living and breathing, but due to the virus `rage', they became psychotic, not undead. and reading the forensic zombie book, the slow rate of death would initially give emergency response a window to stop it, but it would depend on finding the `patient zero', the initial spread and containing it. failing that, using the canadian scientific journal just recently published using modern outbreak guides for swine flu and such, and scientific data, with `constant variables', it would fail, and zombies would rule! inconsistancy breeds chance, and with chance, the daring prevail. depending on the daring in initial stages would be the determining factor in localized or widespread outbreak. movies also animals are immune, but not determined on whether they could be carriers though. that would also be a determintal factor. but I digress...simply put, theres to much inconsistancy to allow a full epidemic unless a partial or total shutdown of response happens, which would require widespread infection going unnoticed for several days to a week. not likely, as CDC and USAMRIID would deply immediatly and would pull on full federal forces without hesitation. unlike katrina, which was a response in farce, a direct biological threat to the United States would be dealt with posthaste, since it would be spreading rapidly, like ebola, martial law would be imposed almost immediatly, and the response would begin in full force. hope this helps some.
Reply
Wednesday 26 August
By Kyo
From reading World War Z, the book mentions that when the dogs used in the field to sniff out the undead did bite one of the corpses, they would die from the virus. So animals cannot be carriers - but if I remember correctly, they are immune to the zombies' flesh-thirst.
Also, what sequel to the survival guide are you talking about, as well as the 'forensic zombie book' that you mentioned? Or is the sequel WWZ?
Wednesday 26 August
By J76
Code 636.... will you marry me?
Thursday 27 August
By xorcyst
Exactly! 28 Days (and Weeks) later are not zombies, they are infected humans who eventually die. The author did not do proper research, though I agree that karate/Iron Man triathlete zombies are heretical. For example Dawn of the Dead original vs remake.
Tuesday 01 September
By margaret
I guess it means, "Take care of your own." and anyone who has water, shelter, and the black and white tv in the bedroom, so you can watch the news and find out what is really happenning. Of course, in today's case, the news isn't telling anyone what is really hapenning, so I guess you could for-go the tv set.
Wednesday 02 September
By MrsPage
THANK YOU code636! I don't know why, but it drives me effing INSANE when people say they're zombies in 28 Days Later. They are INFECTED with RAGE VIRUS, not goddam zombies! sheesh....
I
Thursday 03 September
By ohjeezigotaids
what a nerd.
Wednesday 26 August
By Sami
2 Things: 1. it was done in Canada where they have more cows than people so a zombie outbreak would spell doom, for cananda. 2 Our Military would just deal with the threat.
Reply
Wednesday 02 September
By Baron
To Sami: If you read the WWZ, the battle of Yonkers I do believe, the US military tried just that, and failed miserably.
Friday 11 September
By Tim
Wow, you're retarded.
Wednesday 26 August
By Christian
Okay, the infected in the 28 days later series, are not zombies, because their not dead! Their just mentally insane. I am tired of people calling them zombies, because that is defiantly not what they are.
Reply
Monday 31 August
By whatevaman
They are NOT insane, simply enraged. Hence the conditions name...Rage. They forgo every other emotion, logic and reason, and most motor functions.