In more bad news for the living today, scientists have determined that humanity would almost certainly perish in the (probably still unlikely) event of a zombie outbreak.Using probability to demonstrate what us "Walking Dead" fans have known for years, a team in Canada has shown that a zombie-like infection -- one that quickly killed its victims and then returned them to life in order to feast on the living -- would spell almost certain doom for us all.
Among the issues faced by humanity would be the exponential increase in new zombies created after each human dies, and the sudden shutdown of vital services and resources.
The University of Ottawa researchers who worked on the study assumed that the zombies were the classic, slow-moving type seen in the original George A. Romero films, and not the heretical and far-more-deadly ultra-fast zombies as seen in films like "28 Days Later."
Even so, their analysis revealed that any attempt to cure or capture the Shuffling Horde would only put off the inevitable. All the more reason to lay back and submit to hot zombie babes.


























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Sunday 06 September
By Father Andrew St. John (of the Cross)
So what are we Christians gonna do when we become Zombies along with the others, tell people that God loves them and that Jesus died on the cross for their sins, and if they repent and become Born Again or 'Saved' first, then we'll feel much better about eating them and their newly converted/Baptized families? W.W.J.E. (Who Would Jesus Eat)? Praise the Lord and pass the next victim! LOL!
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Friday 04 September
By Are'onna
ok that is kind a stupid and wack there are no zombes and they are not gonna eat us alive so the people who are supposed to be smart came up with a stupid story
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Friday 04 September
By spongefry
what if everything we think we know about zombies was wrong, then what.
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Friday 04 September
By punk4life420
I love Zombie stories, books, movies.... Ahh i cant get enough of it. Gotta prepare just incase. So happy that there is enough people out there who are willing to at least come up with a plan just incase. Anyone ever dream about a Zombie outbreak and wake up sad from there dream because they were enjoying themselves?
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Friday 04 September
By Mr. Hypothetical
I know what u meen :P
Wednesday 09 September
By butcherbaby
yes, i have had a few dreams like that, the funniest one was when the leader of the human resistance was....Rob Zombie. LOL!
seriously i think this article is great, and the responses are awesome in both their humour and mock(?) seriousness. my husband is a huge zombie movie & video game fan and i can't wait to read the copy of WWZ i bought him for his birthday.
oh, and i just wanted to mention, because people keep referring to "i am legend", that in the original story, the protagonist calls the victims of the virus "vampires", and they are both sensitive to sunlight and comatose during the day, when he goes around and stakes them. i'm not sure how the movie was intending to represent them, but they do still seem to be closer to vamps than zombies. for anyone who has seen the movie but not read the book, i *highly* recommend doing so. it's not a difficult read, and Richard Matheson is an excellent writer. whether you enjoyed the film or not, the book is even more intriguing and may help you appreciate the movie more or at least get acquainted with the somewhat different but fantastic source material.
Friday 04 September
By Mr. Hypothetical
Sadly i have one word after reading these comments
LOL
Reply
Friday 04 September
By mike
eh, screw all the other stuff! i would just hide out at the Winchester with a cricket bat. Like in Shaun of the dead.
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Wednesday 09 September
By roseybaby63
This, by far, is the most interesting and entertaining comments section I've read in a long time. Only a couple of attempts at political crap. Thank you so much. As far as zombies go...I think I'd want some guns, ammo and maybe a few baseball bats...just in case. Loved the Ash references too.
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Thursday 10 September
By Clover
zombies don't make sense.
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Thursday 10 September
By C Mill
Okay, well i'm thouroghly confused! Is this real or a joke? Of course Zombie invasions are never a laughing matter but... is the article a joke? Or is some undead freak about to bust through my door and eat me?
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Friday 11 September
By ski67
brains good make pain go away
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Friday 11 September
By bigred
im gonna stock up on ammo
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Friday 11 September
By Ohboy
Id build a team to fight against these zombies including arnold schwarzenegger,kobe bryant,buffy the vampire slayer(though im not sure how good she does against zombies),dick cheney, and the cavemen off the gieco commercials......if that fails then ill just get chuck norris.hoorahh.
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Saturday 12 September
By littlelessvague
bone removal before burial...its easy.
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Saturday 12 September
By patty
somebody actually took the time to write this stupid stuff?
Reply