The 5 Best Twitterers About Bodily Functions

Twitter is America's favorite new TMI playground, but why does all "too much information" have to be so ... lame? If 95 percent of Twitterers can tweet about what they ate for lunch today, we need those who really push the boundaries of TMI -- taking the form to a whole new level.

We went in search of Twitter's most talented TMI-ers and found an important genre in the Twitterscape: Those who record their bodily functions. From flatulence and testicles to the state of your sad, sad liver, these Twitterers share some seriously personal stuff. That's why we've collected a few gems that will perhaps inspire you to start live-tweeting your own bodily functions.

You'll never have to TMI in-person again -- just tell your friends to follow you.

The five best Twitters about bodily functions, after the jump.

5. @poop_nazi
While we question the name (why so serious?), @poop nazi chronicles his bowel movements as often as they arrive. From "beer shits" to "wake-and-poops," this Twitterer never really runs out of ways to describe his BMs, making for a not-crappy, surprisingly creative (while equally disgusting) timeline of ... crap. Speaking of crap, @poop nazi hasn't "been" since August 16th ... you OK, buddy?

4. @officechair

Can you imagine the Internet being alerted every time you farted? While I'm sure the pornbots would love it (is there anything they don't follow?), the rest of us might not be so eager for constant updates. Surprisingly, there are not just one, but three prominent Twitterers devoted to flatulence -- each using a different method for recording farts. @Farted & @tweetyourfarts both track the Twitter community for all mention of farting -- from those who enjoy their own ("Perfected the art to the walking fart." -- @DannyDaze) to those complaining about others' farts ("ewww MY CAT FARTED ON ME." --@sashasuperhero). Our favorite fart-tracking Twitterer, @officechair, shows some serious innovation, stating, "Upon the detection of natural gas such as that produced by human flatulence." This all answers the age-old question: To share or not to share your farts? That is the question.

3. @iamgordonsliver
Usually when you wake up with a pounding headache after a long rum-drinking night, it's pretty clear you've done some damage on your liver. But what if the usually silent organ was busy tweeting your irresponsible (and borderline alcoholic) behaviors? Well, someone's liver is recording his drinking habits and that someone is journalist Gordon Kelly, whose liver lives in 140-character spurts at @iamgordonsliver. Not only does the liver communicate with his abuser, but somehow figured out how to hashtag and @reply naysayers.

2. @theerikblair
With 56 followers and an unexpected variety of descriptive language, @theerikblair dedicates itself to tracking the movement, consistency and overall emotion of Erik Blair's balls. From "totally relaxed" to "loose and dead tired," Erik's testicles run the gambit of ball behavior and act in ways we never knew balls could act. Erik's balls apparently find time to tweet even when they get "a little tingly after witnessing gratuitous side-boob," which, we'll admit, might make it a bit difficult to type.

1. @RonsMonster
Last, but certainly not least, is Ron Jeremy's penis -- which, in addition to having a long and successful career in porn -- finds the time to tweet. @RonsMonster actually only links to Ron Jeremy's blog which is also an ode to his moneymaker, and is called: Ron Jeremy's Dick (.blogspot.com, of course, you think this dick has the time to buy a domain name?) Ron Jeremy's penis does everything from answering fan mail (in "Dear Ron Jeremy's Dick") to wondering about the size of the late-Michael Jackson's phallus (too soon, RJ?) Whether you're into the porn star or not, you've got to admit that if there's any penis that gets enough action to provide bloggable content, it's Ron Jeremy's.