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Today is Global Forgiveness Day, a faux holiday on which we all try to just get along. That means it's as good a time as ever to make that apology to your girlfriend or wife (or both) that you've been guiltily hoarding for so long.

Some apologies are trickier than others. If you had a threesome with her sister and best friend, for instance, that might be a little hairier than having "borrowed" $10 from her purse. Regardless, there's a right way and a wrong way to say you're sorry. (This, we have to admit, is the wrong way. We're sorry 'bout them hot tubs too, Ruben.)

In order to figure out how to offer a confession correctly, we asked a few credentialed relationship experts -- as well as party rocker and advice columnist Andrew W.K. -- to show us the ropes of a proper romantic mea culpa.

Read on, and prepare to be forgiven.

What's Done Is Done
"Do NOT apologize to her for things you did before you were in a relationship with her," advises Laurie Puhn, a family lawyer-mediator and author. "Past acts were not intended to harm your current girlfriend in any way, so do not let her guilt you on your past." So that long, bleary weekend you spent in Amsterdam with a few extremely flexible Ukrainians? It never happened.

The "Oops, I Had a One-Night Stand" Apology
So you're out without your buddy, funneling Jagermeister down your throat as if your life depended on it, and suddenly it's 8 o'clock in the morning and you're groaning awake next to a stranger who isn't wearing any clothes. First, get some tests from your doctor. If your next step is to apologize to your girlfriend, don't expect that to go to well. "He should be 100 percent prepared for a breakup," Puhn says. "Cheating is very hard for a couple to truly get over and if you're not married yet, then most likely she's out the door." Also, ask yourself, do you really want to stay with her? Being in a relationship means you decide to stop looking for someone better."

Some Things May Be Better Left Unsaid
But what if your little diversion from faithfulness didn't involve much more than a drunken make-out session in the back of a dive bar? For Dr. Seth, an L.A.-based clinical psychologist and relationship expert, the need to apologize enters more of a gray area: "Because everyone is capable of making a mistake, be sure to evaluate the reasons why you want to tell your partner about the transgression. Sometimes, the memory of a transgression can haunt the person you hurt and make her insecure when you go out in the future. You want to strike a balance of honesty and protection of your partner's feelings."

Skip Starbucks, Be a Man
"The more important the transgression, the more privacy is needed," says psychologist and life coach Dr. Amy Johnson. "I've seen men do just the opposite -- admit to an affair in a crowded coffee shop thinking they'll be spared the angry outbursts and tears if they are in public. These guys are acting selfishly and are complete wimps! Give her the privacy she deserves and the opportunity to express any emotions she needs to, in private. Confessing in public will only lead to embarrassment for both of you."

Andrew W.K. has a slightly different suggestion: "Apologize anywhere you like -- I think the bathroom is the best place. You're the most vulnerable, and it's cramped and awkward, which helps cut to the chase of the apology."

Let Her Chew You Out
"Men often make the mistake during an apology scenario in which they don't give their partner the chance to talk," Dr. Seth says. "She may need a a little time to vent her feelings and tell her side, so make sure your apology leaves room for a two-way conversation, not an apology monologue." We advise playing it calm and cool. Open the dialogue with appropriate questions, like "Exactly how am I a heartless, sniveling, wretched a**hole?"

Keep Buts Out of It
Johnson stresses a vital rule: "NEVER say, 'I'm sorry, but...' Men and women are both guilty of this -- the 'but' completely counteracts the 'I'm sorry.' Admit you were wrong. Even if you both made mistakes in the situation, your apology is about owning up to your part in the issue. It's not a time to remind her that she was also wrong or defend yourself in any way."

Apologize Empty-Handed
Don't show up at your 'sorry' session bearing flowers or a necklace. "If you cheat on your wife and later admit it to her, she doesn't want flowers with your apology -- what she wants is for you to not have cheated," advises Dr. Seth.

"Things are not apologies, they are temporary distractions," Puhn says. "If a gift makes something better, you have a really bad relationship. Deal with the real issue by using your power of words to get past it." That's good news in this economy, since words are a hell of a lot cheaper than even the cheapest gas station bouquet.

Andrew W.K. -- who, admittedly, does not have a PhD -- is a proponent of gifts-with-apologies. "An offering of food is best, especially fudge or some sort of peanut product."

Looking for more expert advice on rocky relationships? Look no further ...
The Gentlemen's Guide to Dumping Your Girl
Stupid Divorce Mistakes Most Guys Make

From the Web:
Cheating Man Wears Sandwichboard As Apology. (Lemondrop)
The Manliest Man Who Ever Manned. (I Am Bored)
Robot Chicken: Sorry Guys. (Adult Swim)