While vacationing in Martha's Vineyard yesterday, President Obama was photographed several times riding a bicycle without a helmet. (Michelle and the kids were sporting the prescribed headgear.)

The White House did say that the President usually wears one, and supports helmet-wearing, but offered no explanation for his reckless ride.


To us, the answer is obvious: President Obama is a bad seed, the guy your mom used to make you steer clear of as you walked home from school with your deluxe Trapper Keeper clutched close to your chest.

Read on to find out all the ways President Obama is a bad influence.


Easy Rider

Not only did the Prez shun safety equipment, he was also photographed waving to cameras, which means he was riding one-handed! There's little doubt in our minds that he wouldn't think twice about popping a wheelie, or riding around with someone on the handlebars. The guy eats fear for breakfast.

Smokin' in the Boy's Room

There has been a lot of hard, investigative journalism dedicated to determining whether the Commander in Chief still smokes cigarettes, with the standard response being that he "struggles" with it. As any seasoned political observer will tell you, the absence of a hard denial means he's probably smoking it up in the locker room with his buddies, plotting ways to get ahold of some AIG executive's lunch money.

The Gambler

While your mom wouldn't even let you play low-limit Uno, the president is out there making Lady Luck a member of his cabinet. He famously spent a precious 11 minutes filling out March Madness brackets for ESPN, which everyone knows you don't do "just for fun."

He's also known to be an avid poker player, although he has thus far stonewalled Asylum's attempts to dig deeper into his card-playing predilections. Sure, there are those who will tell you that poker is about skill, even that it's "respectable," but Mom knew better.

Skipping Church

Although the president's former church became a huge issue during the campaign, in his first 6 months in office, Obama had yet to choose a church (he finally settled on one at the end of June). Sure, he said he was seeing the chaplain at Camp David, but that could just mean he's the one who brings the beer for the pre-game barbecue.

Beer-Mongering

Sure, there have been other presidents who drank, but Obama actually invented a new kind of diplomacy centered around pounding brewskis. And he had to arrange that peace meeting for a uniquely delinquent reason: calling the cops stupid.

The man is out of control.