We're not all that interested in performance enhancers, aside from maybe those used by Olympic snowboarders. Steroids beef you up, but they eventually give you a nasty temper, heart disease, and man boobs.

On the other hand, mechanical performance enhancers, like the ability to throw a nasty curveball without any skill are awesome. The Blitzball ($12 for four balls) will let pitchers throw faster and curvier. Good thing, because should a batter get a piece of it, the Blitzball will definitely sail out of the park.

The Web site offers teaching tips on how to throw eight different pitches. Absent are lessons on throwing the spitball, which will sadly negate an endorsement from Gaylord Perry.