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Because we focus on futility, the weekend's football-watching marathon produced one indisputable observation: If Tony Romo played for Michigan State, the pairing could hang with any opponent until the final seconds, before finding some miraculous, jaw-dropping, crap-your-Zubaz way to lose.

We talked it over with our friends at With Leather, and all of us continue to be collectively stunned by Michigan State's decision to pass after getting into field goal range during the closing seconds of their battle with Notre Dame. In true Sparty fashion, MSU QB Kirk Cousins was picked off, sealing a win for the Fighting Irish. It was only a week prior that MSU lost in the final minute against Central Michigan, but that didn't stop analysts from calling the gift win a critical victory for Notre Dame coach Jabba the Hutt.

Then last night, we were stunned once again as Tony Romo snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Late in the third quarter, with a 24-20 lead, Romo and the Cowboys were about to take control of their game against the New York Giants in Giants' territory. Romo then proceeded to throw a jump ball for whomever wanted it. The ensuing interception led to a Giants' resurgence and Jessica Simpson finding renewed comfort in the fact that she's now banging John Mayer. We can only hope Romo plays well enough against garbage opponents for the Cowboys to make the playoffs. That's when the really dramatic choking happens.