Admit it, you are secretly thrilled when a crazy woman becomes obsessed with you. You love that you don't have to call her, because she's already calling you on both lines. You relish the fact that you never have to take her to dinner because she's lurking under that streetlight with a bag of Chinese food. And you particularly like her animal nature, as long as it only comes out when your hands are free to block that icepick.
In honor of the women we love to fear, here's a list of the five kookiest movie crazies we'd still have sex with, although we wouldn't tell our friends. 5. Megan Fox in "Jennifer's Body"
Wow, this 2009 movie looks almost as good as "Howard the Duck," the last "Pirates of the Caribbean" flick and "Surf Ninjas." It's scripted by Diablo Cody, who composed the headache-inducing dialogue for "Juno," so we can only imagine things are helped by throwing Mensa candidate Megan Fox into the mix. Seriously, folks, this is a rental -- and only because Fox plays a zombie who feeds off living victims to stay alive, runs around half-naked and seduces Amanda Seyfried. We'd gladly be her virgin sacrifice if we got to die in bed with this wacko.
4. Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction"
It's movies like this that explain why so many men are wary of getting involved with that goofy cubicle dweller down the way. But, amazingly enough, Glenn Close looked so damn sexy in 1987 while being nailed on a kitchen counter that the entire male population of the United States was heard collectively gasping: "Holy crap, that's Glenn Close? And I'm turned on right now?" Of course, five minutes later, they were running from the theater screaming as Close's character boiled rabbits, kidnapped children and refused to drown in a bathtub, leading many to believe inter-office dating is fraught with extreme peril. 3. Michelle Pfeiffer in "Batman Returns"
For some reason, Catwoman, the character Pfeiffer plays in this movie, thinks she is an actual cat. She also thinks cats have leather coats, as evidenced by the character's constantly writhing around on a bed, purring in a full-leather body suit. What a nut! What kind of a movie is this, anyway? 2. Penelope Cruz in "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"
It takes some serious effort -- or a large Hollywood makeup budget-- to make Penelope Cruz look ugly, but Woody Allen succeeded with this 2008 effort. Cruz terrorizes all of the film's major characters, including Javier Bardem (her real-life/long-suffering boyfriend), Scarlett Johansson and newcomer/hottie Rebecca Hall, managing to upstage every one of them on her way to an Academy Award. Oh, and having a madwoman scream at you all day and have sex with you all night never looked so appealing. We want in on that action. 1. Sharon Stone in "Basic Instinct"
Aside from several of the hottest sex scenes in R-rated cinema, the 1992 blockbuster is arguably worse than a steaming pile of Michael Douglas. The killer is obvious from two minutes in, Jeanne Tripplehorn is thrown around the room and the film looks like it's been run through a brutal red filter that not even the worst horror movie would subject itself to. Despite all this, there is one overwhelming redeeming factor: the star-making turn by that wicked vixen, Sharon Stone. (Not to spoil anything, but she kills an assload of people for no reason.) Any hot woman, no matter how dangerous, who flashes us and basically invites us to do her will, you know, get "done." Who did we leave off? From the Web: 10 Jobs That Will Turn You Into a Dick.
SI Swimsuits: Danica Patrick Edition
. (Sports Illustrated)