Sitting around during a commercial break, we could hardly believe our ears when a gravelly voice declared from the TV, "I'm Lee Majors ..."

Sure as Sasquatch, the geriatric tones emanating from the tube were those of the original Six Million Dollar Man himself. Even more surreal was the product he was pitching: The Lee Majors Rechargeable Bionic Hearing Aid.

For anyone who remembers the bionic bruiser's slow-mo-aided heroics, this is a supremely depressing moment. Leaving aside the intellectual property issues that will need to be worked out with the OSI, what's Lee's next move, "I'm the Fall Guy, and I can't get up"?

Keep reading to see the mojo-shattering ad and our top five ideas for Over-the-Hill Action Star Endorsements.



Huggy Bear Snuggies

This flamboyant, toasty-warm, sleeved blanket comes with a big fleecy hat and a badass attitude. Unlike ordinary blankets, it won't slip off!


MacGyver Emergency Denture Adhesive Kit

Consisting of a paper clip, some duct tape, and a ballpoint pen, this kit allows you to improvise when you run out of Sea Bond.


Magnum Pee-Aye! Adult Diapers

Tom Selleck can endorse these stylish, Ferrari-red, ultra-absorbent disposable bikini briefs.


I Pity the Fool! Nutritional Supplement

B.A. Baracas himself, Mr. T, uses this meal replacement to make sure all of his nutritional needs are met.


TJ Hooker Electric Scooter

We know William Shatner has his hands full with Priceline, but this tricked-out scooter allows you to ride on the hood!