The news is out today that America's favorite blue-haired cartoon, Marge Simpson, will be baring all in the hallowed pages of Playboy magazine.

Seems like kind of a strange move from the nudie czars, but Marge always did look pretty sexy on those episodes when she and Homer got intimate.

However, if Playboy's going to start featuring cartoon women, we have a few requests (and they might not be the ones you're expecting).


Josie and the Pussycats
Yes, all of them. This is a bonanza. First of all there's the name: Pussycats? Bring it. Then there's the sheer variety in this group: You got Josie, the smokin' redhead, Melody, the blonde drummer, and Valerie Smith, the sultry, ebony tambourine player who also invents stuff? Please. Throw in the catsuits and couple weightless pillow fights in space and these ladies make the Spice Girls look like the Misfits.
Peppermint Patty
You ever notice how every woman in every sexy pictorial says she started as a tomboy? Well, that's ol' Peppermint Patty for you. Think about it, now that Peps is a full-fledged woman, the freckles have faded a bit (but not all the way), she's grown that scarlet mane out, and her head's no longer three times bigger than her body. To put it bluntly, she's a fox, and she's a fox who can still strip you down to your underwear with a line drive up the middle. That's wifey material, son.
The Baroness
Yes, mistress. Whatever you say, mistress. May we have another? COBRA's Primary Military Intelligence Specialist, the Baroness was as sexy as she was deadly. She had the accent, the glasses, the blue/black flowing hair and a set of legs that could crush a beer keg. She also wore bandoleros as scarves and carried a immense machine gun. The fact that a woman as beautiful as the Baroness could wear an armored skinsuit around the COBRA offices without getting sexually harassed also indicates she knew how to handle herself. Think about it: If a chick can work with Destro and Tomax and Xamot all day, you think she'll fall apart at the idea of meeting your mom?
Betty Rubble
Betty, baby, please -- leave that zero, Barney, and get with this hero! First of all, he's like 8 inches shorter than you, and second, he's a moron. He wears a damn water buffalo head as a hat! He wears a fur toga every day and goes bowling with an oblong rock. I've got a lot of things I could show you. I have an HDTV. I eat pieces of meat that weigh less than 120 lbs. My car has a floor! I don't keep saber tooth tigers as pets in houses where children are present. Now please, bring your perfect proportions, your endless legs, your blue dress and your indestructible, super-child-producing womb over here and let's get hitched!

From the Web:
Fantasy Telemarketer. (Adult Swim)
The 9 Most Racist Disney Characters. (Cracked)