As if scoring a measly three points against the dreadful Cleveland Browns wasn't torture enough for Bills fans, someone stole this barely recognizable wooden statue of Thurman Thomas from outside the team's Ralph Wilson Stadium.

Created by a charitable organization called Carvings for a Cause the statue is 8-1/2 feet tall and weighs some 1,000 lbs. The fact that such a massive item was nabbed either says some very bad things about the quality of stadium security, or some very scary things about the physical strength of thieves in the greater Buffalo area.

Happily, just hours after the statue went missing, an unnamed Canadian man fessed up to the crime. According to reports, he told police that when he saw a bunch of hooligans trying to set the statue on fire, he loaded Wooden Thurman into the back of his truck and drove him to safety.

Wow. Let's think about that for a second. This guy braved fire-wielding hooligans, hefted a 1,000-lb. statue into his truck and then drove away without anyone noticing? Are we alone in thinking this mysterious Canadian might actually be ... Captain Canuck?