The world is still reeling from Barack Obama's being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Conservatives are having aneurysms, liberals are nervously happy, and everyone is scratching their heads, wondering how they can get "Employee of the Month" without doing anything remotely spectacular. We've come up with a few other awards we'd like to see President Obama win. Some prestigious, some not so much -- the key is that he probably doesn't actually deserve any of them.
The Naismith College Coach of the Year Award
This honor is given once a year to college basketball coaches to celebrate their integrity, honor and courtside acumen. President Obama loves basketball, and being the elected leader of the free world is kind of like being a coach, right?
MTV Video Music Award
President Obama isn't a musician, but it's a stretch to call half the people who win VMAs musicians, so it evens out. His only concern would be during his acceptance speech, where an angry Karl Rove could storm the stage and yell, "Yo Barack, I'm really happy for you, I'mma let you finish, but George W. Bush had one of the best military invasions of a foreign country of all time! Of all time!"
An Oscar
Conservative critics of President Obama often point out that he gives a good speech, but offers nothing tangible. That's just right-wing code for "He's a great actor." So, give him the Oscar for Best Actor in a Leading Role. He's earned it -- even his detractors think so.
The Medal of Honor
President Obama didn't technically serve in the military, which would normally disqualify him from receiving the highest military award. And the bravest thing he's done during his presidency was grab a beer in his backyard while babysitting two angry men. But come on -- he's Barack Obama! The only weird part would be Barack Obama giving Barack Obama the medal. He's only used to other people giving him awards he doesn't deserve.
The Rhysling Award for Best Fantasy Poem of the Year
With two books already under his belt, President Obama would have no problem cranking out a poem under the sci-fi/fantasy banner. It could be about a fantastical journey to stop an evil foreign nation from acquiring nuclear energy. He'll get around to it eventually. In the meantime, Science Fiction Poetry Association, you nerds know where to send the holographic recording congratulating him.
A Peabody Award
Technically, President Obama isn't a radio or television broadcast journalist. However, Rush Limbaugh talks about him a lot on the radio, and he's on CNN every day, so ... close enough.
Teen Choice Award
Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, those people from "Twilight" ... Barack Obama? Everyone knows how hip Obama is -- he shoots hoops, he dances -- so his biggest obstacle to winning this award would be the simple fact that it's sponsored by Fox. Then again, so were the Tea Party protests and that didn't stop him from continuing to push for health-care reform -- speaking of which, maybe it really should have been a Nobel Prize for Medicine.
Network: 


































Comments:
Add a comment
Wednesday 14 October
By Takahashi
He should also reward himself with the Presidential Metal of Freedom. I mean the requirements ("an especially meritorious contribution to the security or national interests of the United States, world peace, cultural or other significant public or private endeavors.") sound just like everything he has done for our country thus far!
Reply