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There was once a time when all American teenagers were required to throw tires off of bridges onto oncoming traffic, shoot each other in the eyes with BB guns and glory in the slaughter of make-believe "redskins."

Obviously, in many ways, we're in a better place now as a nation. But reading the news lately, we have to wonder if we haven't gotten a little soft when it comes to kids and weapons. We're not suggesting kids should be toting guns or samurai swords around their schools, but some of the stories scrolling across the blotter lately are downright ridiculous.

The Case of the Deadly Spork
Last month, 6-year-old Zachary Christie of Bear, Del., was suspended from school and remanded to an alternative institution for delinquent kids after bringing a combination knife, fork and spoon to lunch. (The suspension was lifted earlier today.)

The Case of the Felony Burrito
Last Saturday, an unidentified 15-year-old teen from Florida was busted on the felony(!) charge of "throwing a deadly missile." The missile in question? A burrito. Which the lad threw at a passing car causing no damage to car or driver. Now, throwing a burrito at a moving vehicle is definitely a d**k move, but unless it was one of those frozen gas-station numbers, this doesn't feel felonious. Our sentencing recommendation: five consecutive weekends running a charity car wash.

The Case of the 2-Inch Case Knife
In a troubling indication that overreactions to perceived weapons threats may be escalating, yesterday 17-year-old Troy, N.Y., high-schooler and Eagle Scout Matthew Whalen was suspended for having a 2-inch-long pocket knife ... in a survival kit ... which was locked in his car. Making matters worse, the diminutive cutting tool had been given to Whalen by his grandfather, a police chief.

Now, we know weapons are a serious problem in this country, and in the cases of the two schools, one can't be too careful, but shouldn't there be some wiggle room for extraordinarily stupid cases like these?