The beautiful dream that was Rush Limbaugh's bid to buy the Rams has fallen apart amid a firestorm of opposition to the polarizing radio host. It seems even the 0-5 Rams aren't big enough losers to associate with Limbaugh.

Meanwhile, Rush is threatening legal action against anyone who misquoted him during the coverage of his ownership bid. While there are a host of verifiable quotes to choose from, there have also been quotes attributed to Rush with little or no sourcing.

On Tuesday's show, he singled out at least one potential litigant.

On his radio show Tuesday, Rush singled out CNN's Rick Sanchez, whom he called Rick "DUI, Leaving the Scene" Sanchez, as someone who has been "spreading filth and lies."

The fact that Rush Limbaugh is an objectionable, polarizing figure has little to do with the handful of unsourced quotes that have been mixed in with the legit ones, but it doesn't make it right for the media to repeat them. Like him or not, Rush Limbaugh is just as entitled to protect himself from smears as anyone else. If he does proceed with legal action, it will force those who use these quotes to put up or shut up.

We think that the problem with Rush's detractors is that they didn't go far enough, leaving out centuries worth of awesome fake quotes. In an attempt to remedy this, we present:

5 things Rush Limbaugh didn't say, but we'd pretend he did say if we weren't terrified that he'd sue the pants off us:

1. "The only thing we have to fear is ... the blacks."

2. "Ask not what your country can do for you (pause for effect), you lazy welfare queen."

3. "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall! And rebuild it on the Mexican border!"

4. "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. And he's white. Otherwise, it'd be a home invasion."

5. "And Moses said unto Pharaoh, 'Let my people go and get jobs without having to worry about affirmative action!'"