It's no secret that women wait all year to for Halloween to dress as sexy zombie nurses
or sexy Freddy Kruegers
, but no matter what sexy something the ladies in your life transform into, the underlying principle is the same: with the right pick up tricks and pick up lines Halloween is one day when you have a better-than-average chance of hooking up with a woman who is embracing her holiday hotness.
Unfortunately, a guy's sexy Halloween costume
options are pretty limited. Certain dudes can find success going the funny route, but wearing a banana hammock and toting a bong in a tribute to Michael Phelps isn't exactly a one-size-fits-all costume option.
So, if you're unwilling to break your streak of 20 consecutive years dressing as a ninja
, can you still score on Halloween
? Of course.
Kids as Props
You know that friend who's always asking if you want to babysit his kid? Well, do him a solid and offer to take the little tyke trick-or-treating. You know where's a good spot? Sorority row. No woman can resist a man with a child, especially a child who's been bribed to say, "This is my widower Uncle Danny. He's the best guy I know."
Much of the year giving free candy to young women is a good way to secure an appearance on "To Catch a Predator
." On Halloween, it's just good planning. Chocolate has a pretty well-established rep as an aphrodisiac
, and even if this is undeserved, having a lot of sweet treats about your person is a good way to attract attention. Oh, and please remember: Size matters. No miniature Snickers, guys.
Making a political statement with your costume -- one that showcases your sympathetic bent -- is a good way to meet like-minded females. Once the liberal chick dressed as Animal Cruelty sees your Health Care Reform Guy costume, she'll be melting. Safety Note: Do not attempt this if you don't actually know anything about politics. If she asks your opinion of the public option and you have to fake a seizure, it won't play.
Play the Protector
We do not condone scaring the bejeezus out of a woman ... most of the time. But isn't that what All Hallow's Eve is all about? First, you get the adrenaline going with a bloody, jump-out-of-your-seat flick like "Saw
." Then, when she screams in pure terror, you can wrap your arms around her and hold her ... hold her tight. Once the movie's over, suggest a nightcap, and then open a discussion about the recent robberies and home invasions in her neighborhood. It really wouldn't be safe for her to be alone, so you should probably stay over. On the couch, of course.
Make a Match
While Halloween is all about variety, there are certain costumes that are virtually guaranteed to show up at any well-attended party. Among these are: the sexy princess, the naughty nurse, the naughty schoolgirl and the sexy vampire. If you want to have a built in intro line with any of these lovely ladies, you can up your odds with your own costume selection: prince who has been turned into a frog; mysterious, badly-wounded patient; fumbling but handsome teacher; and guy with varicose veins.