Girls and guys like different things, and that's OK. But the ladies over at College Candy slapped us with the leather glove of Internet challenge when they created a list detailing the "Top 10 stupidest things guys like
," from fast food to poker. Well, we weren't going to say anything, but we've noticed that a lot of the things girls like are kind of hard to justify liking. So we've made a list of these things. And since we're gentlemen, we've kept it to 10.
In theory, weddings aren't stupid. (Although there is no sexier word out of a woman's mouth than "elope.") However, the extent to which the lady half of the equation will kowtow to an out-of-control marital-industrial-complex that adds little to the experience of matrimony besides unnecessary expense and bitter tears over bridal party snubs certainly isn't smart.
9. Obsessing about their weight
No doubt that society makes weight a difficult issue for women. But unless you happen to be a runway model or a jockey -- or maybe have some kind of involvement with a super-sensitive hang-glider -- the only place a few pounds here or there is going to make a difference is inside the masochistic chambers of the female mind.
8. Valentine's Day
A greeting card holiday that requires
the doling out of romantic gestures? How's that not anything but the exact opposite of romance?
7. Flea markets
While the entire phenomenon of shopping for fun is always pretty dodgy, it becomes downright inane when what you are shopping for is other people's trash.
The feminine affinity for candles reduces the most badass of all elements into something tiny, wimpy and, all too often, fruit-scented. Yet, dainty as it looks, fire on wick is still every bit as dangerous as it is in its more majestic form.
5. Bad mouthing every other girl
If you keep classifying every other girl in the world as "tacky," "slutty" and "not really that cute," those invectives will begin to lose their meaning, and the men in your lives will be more likely to let their guard down and fall victim to the charms of one these gauche vixens.
4. Romantic comedies
While we like to think women use the romantic comedy genre solely as a device to gauge how much a potential suitor is willing to put up with for the honor of sitting next to them, we've heard that many woman will actually watch Jennifer Aniston-tinged drek all by their lonesome. And no amount of slightly nuked Ben and Jerry's can ever justify that decision.
3. Going out for brunch
One would think, with so many women now in the workforce, we would have finally come to an understanding that the whole point of the weekend is that you never have to be ready for any sort of public presentation -- or be upright -- before the mid-afternoon. But apparently not.
Even if cats weren't vile, sinister beasts who would probably claw you to death in your sleep if you weren't enabling their self-indulgent lifestyle by providing them their dreadful smelling subsistence, why would you desire to keep an animal that shouts out to the world of your intention to one day be a spinster?
1. Their friends
Sure, our friends like to fart on us and encourage us to drink until we have forgotten all rules of decency and laws of gravity. But at least they aren't evolutionarily conditioned to passive-aggressively (or fully-aggressively) undermine us whenever possible. Yes, your "friends" are probably doing this right now. On second thought, maybe cats aren't so bad.
What did we leave out?
All pictures Getty.
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