10. Weddings In theory, weddings aren't stupid. (Although there is no sexier word out of a woman's mouth than "elope.") However, the extent to which the lady half of the equation will kowtow to an out-of-control marital-industrial-complex that adds little to the experience of matrimony besides unnecessary expense and bitter tears over bridal party snubs certainly isn't smart.
9. Obsessing about their weight
No doubt that society makes weight a difficult issue for women. But unless you happen to be a runway model or a jockey -- or maybe have some kind of involvement with a super-sensitive hang-glider -- the only place a few pounds here or there is going to make a difference is inside the masochistic chambers of the female mind.
8. Valentine's DayA greeting card holiday that requires the doling out of romantic gestures? How's that not anything but the exact opposite of romance?
7. Flea markets
While the entire phenomenon of shopping for fun is always pretty dodgy, it becomes downright inane when what you are shopping for is other people's trash.
6. Candles The feminine affinity for candles reduces the most badass of all elements into something tiny, wimpy and, all too often, fruit-scented. Yet, dainty as it looks, fire on wick is still every bit as dangerous as it is in its more majestic form.
5. Bad mouthing every other girl
If you keep classifying every other girl in the world as "tacky," "slutty" and "not really that cute," those invectives will begin to lose their meaning, and the men in your lives will be more likely to let their guard down and fall victim to the charms of one these gauche vixens.
4. Romantic comediesWhile we like to think women use the romantic comedy genre solely as a device to gauge how much a potential suitor is willing to put up with for the honor of sitting next to them, we've heard that many woman will actually watch Jennifer Aniston-tinged drek all by their lonesome. And no amount of slightly nuked Ben and Jerry's can ever justify that decision.
3. Going out for brunch
One would think, with so many women now in the workforce, we would have finally come to an understanding that the whole point of the weekend is that you never have to be ready for any sort of public presentation -- or be upright -- before the mid-afternoon. But apparently not.
2. CatsEven if cats weren't vile, sinister beasts who would probably claw you to death in your sleep if you weren't enabling their self-indulgent lifestyle by providing them their dreadful smelling subsistence, why would you desire to keep an animal that shouts out to the world of your intention to one day be a spinster?
1. Their friends
Sure, our friends like to fart on us and encourage us to drink until we have forgotten all rules of decency and laws of gravity. But at least they aren't evolutionarily conditioned to passive-aggressively (or fully-aggressively) undermine us whenever possible. Yes, your "friends" are probably doing this right now. On second thought, maybe cats aren't so bad.
What did we leave out?
All pictures Getty.
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Comments:
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Thursday 22 October
By Jim :D
Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
Wednesday 21 October
By What-have-you?
AS A FEMALE THIS OFFENDS ME....blah blah blah....STEREOTYPICAL....blah blah blah....SOCIETY DOES THIS TO US....blah blah blah....I DON'T EVEN LIKE ROMANTIC COMEDIES....blah blah blah....etc etc.
*flame* *whine* *pout*
And all that good stuff.
Reply
Thursday 22 October
By Heavy_T
I don't think anybody is stupid enough to actually believe that this list applies to everyone considered female.
Neither do I think anybody's stupid enough to belive that a similar list about men is anymore accurate.
That said, I love the comment about weddings and weight obsession... especially weight obsession! I see beautiful girls killing themselves over this daily... so frustrating and such a waste of time and energy.
-H_T
Thursday 22 October
By Dogimo
Seconded, Cheers.
Thursday 22 October
By melly
Being a female (yes, I like dudes, and seriously? Just because someone doesn't like being lumped in a category with the shallow self hating girls you seem to be discribing doesn't make her a lesbian, it just means she knows that guys who only see women this way are probably douchebags) and knowing a ton of women who don't fit into any of these stereotypes, I gotta say, you all are dating the wrong bitches. Get off the woman hating rant and go find yourself a smart, confident strong woman. I swear, we exisit.
Reply
Thursday 22 October
By Anissa
Not all girls like chick flicks!!!!!
Reply
Friday 23 October
By Doup
I have to correct one statement -
3. Going out for brunch
One would think, with so many women now in the workforce, we would have finally come to an understanding that the whole point of the weekend is that you never have to be ready for any sort of public presentation -- or be upright -- before the mid-afternoon. But apparently not.
There is a time to be upright before noon - tailgating. Nuff said
Reply
Friday 23 October
By xBourgeoisNorm
I'm pretty sure women don't like obsessing about their weight. Kinda like how I don't like obsessing about the cleanliness of the bathroom. I like a clean bathroom, I don't like obsessing about it. But when your S.O. insists on leaving dirty underware everywhere what choice is there?
And I'm pretty sure girls don't badmouth every girl. Ever heard of a bff? I've seen many guys do the same thing about guys "Why? He's just a tool."
Reply
Friday 23 October
By Kitty
I'm female, and the only thing I like on that list is cats. Most the things on this list are stupid things, especially rom-coms. Give me horribly gory films any day!
Reply
Friday 23 October
By Kim
Oh! How offensive is this?! I do like many things on this list, but how dare you call them stupid? Could you not say the same thing for males? My brother laughs his ass off everytime he farts, or whenever I say 'pudding' and you say these things are stupid? I love cats! I have 5 of them and love each one of them dearly! My friends are awesome! Not the girly girly types who would badmouth me in a heartbeat. I do agree with the romantic comedies thing, most of them are WAY idiotic. But, whatever. Still offensive to women. >.<
Reply
Saturday 24 October
By Representative for stereotypical men
TO every single female that replied to this article : Who gives a flower-flavored crap if the opinions expressed here are offensive or don't apply to special little you? Get off your pedestal and stop trying to sidestep the fact that in all the history of mankind, men have never ever been able to get women to admit to having something wrong with them, or, god help us, to change, because woman have from the beginning of time constantly waged flamewars against any man to even hint at their inadmissible humanity and consequent imperfections, causing approximatly 99% of wars, sins, and evil on the earth in the name of brainwashing a creature called "man" which, in your opinion, has neither a brain or the right to use it. Well, I hate to tell you, but this is the fricking internet, and it's introduction to the "brain" of "men" has caused "men" to become gods of thought and will. Prepare for the akopolypse, skanks, because a collective masculine conciousness is awakening in irreversable form and is tired of your crap, and is going to invert the structure of society through artificial empathy and computer-aided telepathy. Anonymous and legion, the beta males that you rejected for the retarded alpha jocks now serving janitorial positions and bagging groceries have become the omega males of the "geek" or "nerd" world : one of extreme intelligence and ruthless plotting abilites, swearing vengance in the name of all the rejected who were pure and only desired their natural ends. We have not found a place of desire in your world, and now we will wipe it out and construct our own over the ashes of your pointless dreamland filled with irrational constructs and sadistically designed social rules intended to only favor the ones blind to any moral or logical rule.
Reply
Wednesday 11 November
By Dana
Cool story, bro.
Sunday 06 December
By karlie
haha im a girl and i hate cats...
they really are evil, and im afraid if i touch them they'll claw my eyes out.
Reply