Who doesn't want to be Don Draper from "Mad Men
," right? Suave, impeccably dressed. The kind of guy who can get a woman out of her wiggle dress with a mere raise of an eyebrow. We guess that's why AskMen's readers recently chose the dapper ad man as their most influential man of 2009
and why people keep asking "what would Don Draper do
Well, somewhere around the halfway point of "Mad Men"'s third season -- which has seen Don become increasingly hostile toward his co-workers and leave his latest tryst waiting for him in the car while being confronted by Betty about his vast web of lies -- he crossed the line from being an intriguingly troubled hero with a tortured back story to just plain being a torture to watch.
We never thought we'd say this, but here are the reasons why we no longer want to be Don Draper.
1. His womanizing has grown tiresome
In the early seasons, Don's flings with a seemingly endless stream of strong-willed brunettes who were the antithesis of fragile homemaker Betty, provided dramatic tension and an interesting insight into his character. (Why did they all kind of look like his dead prostitute mom?) But ever since the third season premiere, when Don bedded a perky flight attendant in a story line that didn't really go anywhere, one of TV's best characters has started to resemble one of its worst -- "Entourage
"'s Vinnie Chase. Must every woman throw themselves at Don? We get it, show. He's good-looking. Time for a new vice. Wasn't cocaine around in 1963?
2. He didn't stand up for Sal
One of the most intriguing story lines this season has been art director Salvatore's gradual coming out of-the-closet. When Don caught Sal with his pants down with a male bellhop during a business trip, we thought the fact that Don chose to ignore it showed he was maturing as a character. But then he went and threw poor Sal under a bus, refusing to stand up for him when he was fired over a misunderstanding with a major client. (The guy wanted Sal's "Dick Whitman," and Sal refused.) Then Don went so far as to insinuate that Sal should have slept with the client for the good of the company, even referring to him as "you people." Just because you're a self-hating man-whore, Don, that doesn't mean everyone else has to be.
3. He's a jerk to Peggy and the rest of the staff
For someone who's only in the office for like an hour a day, Don sure loves to ride his co-workers. He's become increasingly hostile toward the rest of the Sterling Cooper gang, recently treating Peggy more like a secretary than a copywriter. (Lest we forget, she once bailed him out of jail.) For most of this season, Don has been off catering to the bizarre whims of Conrad "great-grandfather of Paris" Hilton while the rest of the staff actually, you know, makes advertising. And his patented flowery speeches that woo clients at the last second are becoming as predictable as Detective Stabler throwing a perp against the wall in "Law & Order: SVU."
4. He stopped doing awesome things
In seasons past, Don could always be counted on to do awesome, memorable things,
like ditching Pete in California to go off on a weekend bender with some bohemians or sticking his hand up his mistress' dress in public just to make a point
. But, lately, he's just been kind of mean and boring. And when he tries to do something interesting -- like, say, pick up a couple of hitchhiking kids for some good, clean fun -- he ends up unconscious on a hotel room floor. Is Don Draper losing his touch?
5. He's a big lying liar pants
In a way, it's a relief that Betty finally discovered all of Don's secrets, because now the show can actually move the character forward. We know his past; we know he's an empty shell of a man who stole the identity of his dead commanding officer during Korea. That was interesting two seasons ago. Who is he now? Who's he going to become? Perhaps someone who can be honest for a change? Seriously, he's starting to turn into Jon Lovitz's Tommy Flanagan
No, we don't want to be Don Draper anymore. We'd rather be Roger Sterling: raconteur, marry-er of younger women, blackface enthusiast
-- uh, scratch that. How about Pete Campbell, the young office sociopath-in-training who forced himself on his foreign neighbor ... you know what? We want to be the elevator operator. He seems like an affable chap.
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