Today at 11:30 a.m., NASA finally launched a multimillion-dollar unmanned prototype of the Ares I rocket after being foiled Tuesday by such complex factors as both wind AND boats. Ares is part of NASA's Constellation program, which enthusiasts point out is step one in putting men on the moon. Step one? We're pretty sure step one was covered when we put men on the moon. Hey, maybe the government can send some wagons out West, see what that place is all about, too. Weren't we supposed to be getting murdered by evil computers and cloning Scarlett Johansson by 2010?
Science has promised us a future that, frankly, hasn't materialized. Walk with us on this journey through some of glittering, diamond-studded dreams shattered.
What We Were Promised: Jetpacks
What We Got: The Segway
The fact that we don't have jetpacks yet is such a glaring fail that mentioning it has become an Internet trope. "Where's my jetpack?" is as common a refrain as "Why yes, that IS my real picture." Hey, the future -- 50 years ago called, they want their walking back.
What We Were Promised: Flying Cars That Fold Into Briefcases
What We Got: The Slap Chop
The Jetsons had everything, and all of it could fit in your pocket. Sure, cell phones and laptops have gotten smaller, but have you ever tried to hide a car from the cops? Not as easy. And let's not talk about trying to fly them. The main problem, of course, is the total collapse of DeLorean-based research.
What We Were Promised: Housing on the Moon
What We Got: Housing in the Toilet
From "2010: A Space Odyssey" to "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," America has been led to believe easy travel between here and the moon was right around the millennial corner. But the best we get is that MTV promo and 47 Tom Hanks movies. It's time for moon units, Zappa. And you better hope there's a Starbucks.
What We Were Promised: iRobot
What We Got: iRobot™
If Hollywood has taught us anything, it's that we should be pretty much be swimming in robots by now. Ever since Asimov, the promise of enslaving the robot race has tantalized but not materialized. We were promised helpful androids that periodically go on murderous rampages. I don't know about you, but my Roomba barely scares me at all.
What We Were Promised: Mars
What We Got: Veronica Mars
How many movies predicted Mars as a conquered territory by now? The Constellation program theoretically has Mars in its sights, but so far the closest we've come is marooning a defenseless robot there to take pictures until it died. No wonder they'll go on so many killing sprees some day.
What scientific wonders did you hope would be invented by now?
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Wednesday 28 October
By cefalu4it
Hey Caleb,
nice to see you here. Fun article!
PS-Roombas make nice cat toys, so we are benefiting from the technology.
Bob aka streetwise
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Wednesday 28 October
By StephC
Warp drive and transporters to send you anywhere you want to go and bring you back in a matter of seconds.
I take it we're nowhere close to those,either.
I suppose we're getting closer to the the little computers that hold all the knowledge you need at your fingertips. We have the Kindle, after all.
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Tuesday 03 November
By Flagstaff
I guess the Kindle is sort of like the computer on Star Trek. I was going to say "only mute," but I understand it can read to you if you want it to.
Wednesday 28 October
By Erick Brockway
Ok, I want my Jetson's briefcase car, but nobody else should have one. Just me.
The way people drive around here, they'd be falling out of the sky like leaves.
Maybe a jet pack would be a better idea after all? People crash into each other and fall on your house, the most you'd need would be a garden hose. Or a Steamboy Steam Mop (as seen on TV, natch).
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Thursday 29 October
By Brad H.
Science hasn't "promised" us anything. You can thank these "promises" to a bunch of lazy journalists who like to write sensational over-the-top articles. Not science, the scientific method, or scientists.
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Thursday 29 October
By huck
When I read "Housing in the toilet" I thought of the story from a while back where the woman lived on her boyfriend's toilet for 2 years.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,337232,00.html
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Monday 02 November
By q
Veronica Mars was better than Mars.
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