Generally speaking, if someone tries to punch you then you can punch him back. (Alternately, you can push him, jackknife-powerbomb him, triangle-choke them, or you could do one of those crazy capoeira flipping spin kicks.) You have the right to defend yourself against someone who is attacking you. But what about when it comes to the more subtle dilemmas?Sure, it would be fun to go around cold cocking anyone you wanted to all the time. It would be fun to eat a gallon of ice cream every day, but you'd be dead within a year. That's God showing you that "fun" isn't a good enough justification. So we've put together an FAQ to help guide you through some of those gray areas of fighting.
Can I hit a guy wearing glasses?
You can definitely hit a guy wearing glasses. You can hit a guy wearing anything -- suspenders, platform shoes, a bow tie, or even if he is completely naked. What a guy is or isn't wearing does not prevent you from hitting him. No matter what. As long as he messes with you first.
What if he hasn't attacked you yet, but he will?
If it's really obvious that he's going to attack you then don't just sit there and wait for it. Fortune favors the bold, right? Unless you're a trained fighter -- and let's face it, you're not -- then you probably won't be any good at parrying a punch and countering with your own. A real street fight is a lot like losing your virginity. Everyone's adrenaline is real high, a few smacks to the face, some rolling around on the ground, and you're spent and sweaty after a minute.
Keep reading to find out if you can fight a woman ...
What if the guy has friends?
Good question, but now I have a question for you: How crazy do you want to get? Realistically, if you're outnumbered, don't fight back and just get out of there. If it works out that the d-bag trying to fight you has two d-bag friends and you have two gung-ho friends then you need to make a general assessment of your friends. Are your friends any good at fighting? And are they ready to get nuts? Or better still, are they drunk enough to get into a rumble but not so drunk they'll be a liability in a scrap? Do a quick head count, answer those few queries and then make your next move.
Can you fight the handicapped?
That depends. If it's a physical disability, then yes. If some guy with one leg swings at you then that was his mistake. You should use more discretion when fighting the handicapable, but just because he's in a wheelchair doesn't give his mouth impunity. If it's a mental disability then I would say no. I would suggest pushing or restraining him. If for whatever reason you know how to take someone down and choke him out or submit him Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu-style then go for it. One, it's badass, and two, it's effective and fairly nonviolent. But I'm pretty sure if you punch a mentally disabled person you immediately are bound by fire to the third ring of hell.
Can I hit a woman?
No. You just can't. I don't care if she is 6-foot-5 and rippling with steroid muscles. You just can't hit a woman. There are some things that a guy should never waver on. A guy should never use emoticons, drink beer with a straw, turn down a free steak, admit to being afraid of the dark, miss the Super Bowl, or hit a woman. Unless it gets you laid. If somehow breaking one of the above holy hexinity laws directly impacts you successfully getting laid then break it. But really, you shouldn't hit a woman.
Jordan Newmark is Asylum's MMA correspondent.



























Comments:
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Wednesday 28 October
By Jim
Yeah, RIGHT! I had a guy come after me leaving an establishment (yes a bar) after his wife harrassed me. No I only had one beer but she was drunk. He came after me a grabbed my collar. At this point I hit him twice and KO'ed the idiot. I looked to see if any one else was coming and than turned and left. the police showed up later and he filed charges. In this world you are guilty until proven innocent. My attorney said I did everything right, however, i did not stay. He said to go to trial would cost more than $10,000. And for what.
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Wednesday 28 October
By Heavytoka
What if the guy has friends? You kick him and his friends asses; pilfer their wallet then buy yourself a drink.
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Wednesday 28 October
By KY Waterfall
Then you have won...
Wednesday 28 October
By Fightin' Bill
Hitting a woman years ago may not have been allowed, but hitting a woman these days CAN be acceptable if you follow certain rules.
See, lots of women hit men and hide behind the, "Men can't hit women, so I'm safe," clause that has lingered all these years. She can punch you in the arm, kick you in the shin, do whatever like that. But slap your face, and it's on. If women don't want a double-standard and want to be treated equally, then give her what's coming to her if she slaps you in the face (unless you REALLY deserve it, like you called her fat or something). It has to be an unjustified slap on her part in order to provoke the equal reaction.
Kudos to the guy who has the stones to try this, too. I'm not saying to go around beating women, but there's actions and consequences. For too long I've seen women get comfortable in thinking they can treat a guy however they want and they have immunity in doing it. Act like a lady and I'll treat you like a lady. Punch me in the face, and I'll treat you like the person who just punched me in the face.
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Thursday 29 October
By MikeOfLA
You can't hit a women, but if she has a weopen... Knife, 2x4, small woodland creature, you can shove her hard enough to create distance or cause her to stumble off a conveniently located cliff.
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Wednesday 28 October
By LJ
You can choke a woman if she's short on your money. I learned that from Wayne Brady.
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Thursday 05 November
By The Grim Rapper
About hitting women, I have a view on that,
STRIKING FIRST; ABSOLUTELY NEVER
IF SHE STRIKES
DEPENDING ON HER AMBITION TO HARM YOU, I HAVE THOUGHT OF A FOUR STEP SYSTEM. NOTE; THIS IS IN ORDER, AND IF 1 STEP WORKS, YOU WIN!DO NOT GO FURTHER! THE GOAL IS TO TRY NOT TO HURT HER!
STEP 1: VERBALLY WARN HER
STEP 2: DEFLECT HER STRIKE, HUG HER TO TRY TO STOP HER MOMENTUM
STEP 3: TAKE HER DOWN, TRY NOT TO SLAM HER TOO VIOLENTLY
STEP 4 (LAST RESORT): APPLY A SUBMISSION HOLD TO FORCE HER TO STOP HER ATTACK.
REPEAT: YOU SHOULD ONLY HURT HER IF YOU ARE FORCED TO! THIS 4 STEP (HOPEFULLY 1 OR 2 IS ENOUGH) PROCESS IS JUST TO SUBDUE, NOT TO CAUSE INJURY!
Monday 02 November
By carbonware
I hit a girl once, I was 12, she was 16 and she was beating the snot out of a 8 year old kid. I yanked her off, and landed one square in the nose. She was a bout 1 foot taller than me at least. She ran home and cried to her Daddy who came by my house to get revenge. As lucj would have it I brought the little kid home to clean him up and he told a good tale of what happened to the girls Dad. He turned around and slapped his daughter and dragged her home. Turns out she was trying to make the kid steal for her cause she had a drug problem. I think in this case I was justified in hitting a girl.
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Thursday 05 November
By righteous of not?
I was attacked by a deranged woman who clunk to me viciously. I could not pry her off. I tried to bend her fingers away from my shirt and couldn't get her off (the shirt ended up ripped to shreds). I tried to push her away and she would not let go. All the time I was yelling at her to let go of me. I slapped her hand that was clinging to my shirt as a warning and forcefully said "Let go of me!" I couldn't just jerk away because we were on a stair and either or both of us could have gone plummeting down to a dangerous end. Finally I remembered the age-old technique of restoring sanity to an hysterical woman and I slapped her across the face. She immediately let go (but came back after me later). Was I wrong?
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Thursday 05 November
By nope
sorry guys, i woulda beaned her one for that.
Thursday 05 November
By Dev
To MikeofLA, why is it unacceptable if a man hits a woman? It's about equal treatment, right? The whole point of this article is self-defense. And a woman who hits a guy for no plausible reason, because she was offended by the slightest thing you did? If you accidentally spilt something on her? I'm telling you right now, if women want to be equal to men, the "men can't hit women," bullshit has to end. If the person, man or woman, deserved it, you can fucking hit them.
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Thursday 05 November
By Ky
Okay, weighing in here as a woman, the problem with the notion that "if she deserved it, you can hit her" is that too many men believe everyone deserves to be hit for every minor infraction. Statistically, most men are heavier, taller and have more upper body strength than most women (exceptions noted on both sides) so it's rarely a fair fight, especially if it's at the point of balled fists or kicks. That said, if a woman attacks you first, physically, I have no problem with a slap or push to get her to back off. I've never hit a man, because one has never hit me first and I answer words with words, but if I did, I would expect something in return.
Thursday 05 November
By william
Can't hit a woman my azz!
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Thursday 05 November
By jk
This is a no-win situation. BUT I've always said that if a woman hits me knowing she was taking advantage of the fact that men can't hit women, I'd hit her. So far, I have not needed to take advantage of this axiom. Generally, I think if you treat a lady with respect she will not hit you. AND that means if she bumps into you, YOU say, "I'm sorry." I don't think it's cowardly to avoid a fight with a woman. That use to be called chivalry, and it holds true even if she's not a lady.
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Wednesday 11 November
By rorschach
I agree with Fightin' Bill. I believe in equal rights even if most people (including women) are still totally sexist in many cases, guys usually pull the "you can't hit a woman" crap because they want to impress some girl and get in her pants. If a woman is stupid enough to pick a fight with me, she will get hit, period (and an argument with a girlfriend or wife is NOT justification, unless she hits you with a frying pan or something). It's not my fault I hit harder, they should have thought about that before picking a fight. Having worked in security I know women can be more vicious, and usually carry weapons, at least the ones with a propensity for picking fights with guys. All that said, I would still take it easier on a woman, 1 hit she goes down, all done, I would not be nearly so gentle with a guy, he would end up in the hospital, which brings me to the question: "what if he has friends?". 2 minutes online and I can find 100 news reports of 'swarming' attacks where the victim ends up dead, crippled or with brain damage. If you are outnumbered, use a weapon and kill everyone without hesitation.
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Wednesday 11 November
By malendras
If you make the intentional and serious decision to start a fight with me, I will fight back. I don't care who you are, it doesn't matter. If a woman starts a fight with me, I will fight back. End of story. If a guy starts a fight with me, I will also fight back. Of course, I only ever hit anyone - ever - if they hit me first. It's happened once in my life.
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