A "Red Dawn" remake is coming to theaters next year. And as much we'd like (a 32-year-old) Patrick Swayze to be the last word in high schoolers gallantly defending the homeland against the godless Russkies, it was inevitable a plot so absurdly wonderful was going to be revisited.

Only this time, as our friends at FilmDrunk report, the invading army will also include the Chinese. Which makes sense, for in 2009 the only way the Russians could conceivably take over the United States is in a plot that involves mail-order brides.

Actually, we now know that the Soviets were in no position to parachute in on us during the '80s either. But if it wasn't for that Cold War paranoia, we'd have lost some of the classic films of that era. Movies in which plucky, underdog Yanks fought off the inevitable red menace on land, in the sky, in the jungle and in the boxing ring. If we missed any great '80s Cold War flicks, let us know in the comments.