With any Top 5 list we create, there always at least another half-dozen more choices that we must sadly excise. Thankfully, readers of our Top 5 Craziest Movie Characters We'd Still Have Sex With
list had a lot of thoughts on this topic. So many thoughts, in fact, that we decided to create a sequel based on your suggestions. Don't say we never gave you anything.
5. Malin Akerman in "The Heartbreak Kid"
Malin Akerman lands at number five on our list not because we don't find her as hot as the other choices, but because we're not entirely sure her character is crazy. Sure, a woman who has a deviated septum from blowing an avalanche-size supply of cocaine is probably a walking disaster. A woman who sings loudly to the car radio is annoying, for sure. But is an extremely attractive woman who has such violent sex with you that your boner ends up bruised and battered actually "crazy" or is she just kind of
a hot wacko? She may be one of the most straight-up annoying characters in cinema history, but -- once again -- she's played by Malin Akerman. Say it with me: Malin Akerman, Malin Akerman, Malin Akerman ...
4. Rebecca De Mornay in "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle"
What kind of idiot who loves his wife would hire a flaming hot piece of ass like the girl from "Risky Business" to babysit his kid? Hasn't he ever seen one of those "dark thriller" porno movies? Doesn't he know where this will end up? Of course, the audience does, which is why readers went to see this flick in the first place -- a randy chick playing sexual mind games on a married couple to ruin their lives. Hot.
3. Salma Hayek in "From Dusk Till Dawn"
Here's one we considered for an expanded version of our original Top 5 list. In case you're wondering, strippers who love boa constrictors and sucking on human blood after turning into vampires are likely nutso. Of course, you'd be forgiven for thinking she's the picture of sanity for suddenly killing off Quentin Tarantino's annoying character or totally awesome for having a giant snake come out of her mouth and bite some dude's head off. Luckily, you don't have to worry about her haunting your dreams because she isn't real, sadly.
2. Lena Olin in "Romeo Is Bleeding"
This character is so erotically tempting that gay guys, old men and straight women all admit to being turned on by her. What is it about this psychopathic, one-armed, hyena-laughing, husky-voiced wack-tastic demonoid that gives us sexual Stockholm Syndrome? (Watch the trailer here
and tell us you aren't renting this immediately.) We don't rightly know, which makes loving Lena Olin so deliciously wrong.
1. Famke Janssen in "Goldeneye"
We were young enough when this movie came out to be concerned that we were turned on watching a woman kill a man in the act of lovemaking by using her own naked body. Famke Janssen's lusty scene-stealing still holds up almost 15 years later, thanks to the fact that even PG-13 material couldn't hide a killer body and the realization that her character had an orgasm while committing each of her crimes.
We're sure you have some more sexy femme fatales of your own to add here.